Delicate balance by The Equalizer

Standard disclaimer applies

Read the intro titled "the one and only" to get a good laugh. I really like Heero but it came out that way as I had typed it out off handedly.You're gonna need it after you read through this chapter.

Chapter 2 - one more time

Suddenly, he heard the familiar sounds of vehicles accelerating at full speed from where the direction he had just came from.

It seems that the doctor had only managed to keep the paparazzi reporters busy that long before they found out that he had already left the hospital.

He wasn't too sure where the ESUN Grand Conference Hall was. However, he was sure that by following the ceaseless flow of rushing vehicles, they will eventually lead the way to her -- Relena. Heero had last counted up to at least 10 vehicles when the next flow of news vans came. They had just rushed past their query without knowing it.

"Good...that means that the good doctor had managed to keep my appearance a secret, or else they would have spotted me a mile away by the description of my clothing straightaway." Heero would have smirked at that thought except that the fact that the paparazzi had managed to second-guess his destination had annoyed him to no end. It was going to make things difficult for him. It would be difficult for him to sneak past the hordes of reporters and paparazzi without them seeing him.

While Heero was thinking about all possible scenarios to get pass the media, he bumped into someone.

"I'm...sorry. Are you......alright?" Heero apologized.

"Yes, I'm fine." a tiny voice replied.

Heero then saw that the person he had bumped into was a little girl. She was an ordinary looking little girl at best and was carrying a teddy bear.

But somehow, when Heero looked into the little girl's face. It reminded him of that little girl again. In the place of the teddy bear was the dog - Mary.

Heero suddenly turned and ran into a forested area that was near him. He finally stopped when he fell down and panted from exhaustion.

"Why...why do I see her again? What does it mean? I had finally managed to forget about her. Why must I be reminded of her again? Why!!!! Why!!!! Why!!!! Why!!!!" Heero shouted hysterically.

"What is this pain I am feeling. Why doesn't it go away? Why does she have to come back to haunt me again? Why???"

==================FLASHBACK================================================

It was his first official mission. If he completed it, he would be deemed worthy and would be able to pilot Doctor J's creation. It was just parked there at the base waiting for him. It had been practically specially designed for him when Doctor J had first told him about Operation Meteor.

Heero had managed to sneak into the Alliance base undetected and placed the bombs. He leaped over the fence and ran. Now what he needed now was for the night to fall before he would press the detonator to complete his mission.

He laid on the ground as he panted for breath. He laughed as he was amused by how easy it was for him to complete his mission.

Just then a face popped up. It was a little girl and her puppy. She had shown kindness to him and had given him a flower before they left.

When night fell, Heero clutched the flower tightly. He didn't want to kill but he felt he had to, it was to ensure a better future. A future where people like the little girl would live in peace without fear from the tyranny of the Alliance.

"Mission complete." He said in his monotone voice as he pressed the detonator.

As he turned to leave, the chain reaction from the explosions managed to send a Leo out from the base and topple one of the nearby living quarters of civilians.

He had intended to destroy that Alliance base and that base alone. A piece of him died that day as the explosion caused by the fallen Leo razed the building. Heero had tried to save anyone who might be there but failed........

He had miscalculated the angle of explosion and caused this mistake. From that day, Heero had sworn to perfect himself so that he would never ever cause such a mistake again. He never complained when Doctor J had suddenly increased his training to the breaking point. He wanted to ease the pain the guilt that he felt.

==============END FLASHBACK===============================================

He clutched at his chest and wished that he could tear it out. This pain that his heart felt. Why must it come again? why??? The pain that he felt when he self-detonated wing gundam was nowhere as close to this pain.

It had been a long time when he had been reminded of that little girl. Heero felt the wetness on his face and knew that he had cried. How many times in his life did he cry, he had wondered. One of those rare times were the early days when Odin Lowe, his mentor and the closest one he had to a father died. He had hardened his heart and pushed away any feelings for anyone to prevent this from happening again. However, things did not go as he had planned and Relena had managed to break through the barriers to his heart.

He wiped his face, but when he looked at his hands. He didn't see the expected dirt or wetness from his tears. In their place was the familiar sight of blood. It was oozing and flowing like a river from his hands. He shut his eyes in pain to shut out the vision. When he opened them again, the blood had disappeared as suddenly as they had came.

Suddenly, Heero heard the murmurs of approval, some clapping and a familiar voice. He went to see its source and saw her - Relena.

The 'LIVE' broadcast of her speech was being shown on the giant view-screen outside the ESUN Grand Conference Hall in front of Heero.

His thoughts were brought back to Relena again. It made him temporarily forget about the little girl. But he didn't forget the vision of blood on his hands.

"Relena....I had intended to tell you about my feelings for you, but how could I?? Even if I give up killing, my hands have been too stained by blood. How could I hold you in my arms and stain you along with me and burden you with my sins. How could I?? How could I???"

His promise to protect her had made him stay to carry it one last time before he protected her from one last thing - himself. Heero had made up his mind to leave her again -- forever.

He checked the outside for signs of trouble and with the exception for those pesky paparazzi reporters, it was fine. He then proceeded to sneak into the ESUN Grand Conference Hall and in the end managed to get onto the balcony by the side of the stage. He hid behind the curtain fearing that she will spot him again like the last time when she had been speaking to the members of the Romerfalla. She had in fact been pleading with them to at least accept her ideals because she was sure that she would be killed.

Heero had smiled at the irony. At that time, he had intended to kill her, but now he was here to protect her one more time before he would leave her forever.

He listened to her speech a few moments, burning the sound of her own voice into his memory. It would be the last time before he would hear her voice up close again.

He looked a few times for signs of trouble, but saw none. War was over and the memory of Mariemeia's coup would surely make the desire for peace stronger. He left the balcony and slightly disturbed the curtain.

Relena at that moment had just paused a while to let the audience take in what she had said. Her eyes had somehow moved to the balcony and saw the fluttering of the curtain. She was sure that he - Heero was here and the mere thought of it gave her courage and strength to push her point across and make the audience give her their full support for her latest proposal - the Mars Terraforming Project.

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Author's notes: read "the one and only" on http://fanfiction.net.

My chances of continuing would be small and the explanation is found in "the one and only". If you want me to continue writing then email me at brian_csc@hotmail.com