(words in parentheses)=My thoughts/comments/clarifications.

words in italic=a character's lighter(logical/off-hand/automatic) thoughts OR enunciated words.

underlined AND italic words=a character's DEEPER (more emotional/from-the-heart)thoughts.

bold AND italic words=a character's ENUNCIATED(more insistent/strong/etc.) thoughts. Example: You still love him. No, I don't. Yes, you do. the voice insisted. No, I don't! Relena assured herself angrily.

 

I Lost It

By Angel of Death

It was 11:30 p.m., and 20 year-old Heero Yuy stood outside the Peacecraft mansion at the Sank Kingdom, trembling from head to toe, holding a small black box and looking like a toddler who's about to get a shot. This is it . . . he thought nervously. The cause of this uncharacteristic nervousness was Relena Peacecraft, the person he'd come to see. After the 'Maremaia Incident' four years ago, Heero had melted back into the shadows he knew so well, deeming himself "to stained with blood" to live and associate with Relena and his friends. For two years, he had thought about his life and what meant anything, and had come to the conclusion that the only people who had ever had any effect on him had been his fellow pilots. Quatre Reberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Wufei Chang, and Duo Maxwell, who he'd finally admitted to himself to be his best friend. But the person that had affected him the most was Relena. He had met her on the beach one day, and never been able to rid himself of her, not only because she had chased after him, but also because some part of him had always wanted her to chase him. He had finally come to surrender to the fact that he cared about her, but he had never told anyone else. So, having admitted that he did have emotions after all, he returned to Relena and the aforementioned pilots' company at the age of 18. It had been two years, and thanks to Relena and Duo, he had become more sensitive and open-hearted. But he had never dredged up the courage to tell Relena of his feelings. Until now. Heero stepped up to the front door and, praying that Relena's elder brother Milliardo Peacecraft a.k.a. Zechs Marquise wasn't home, rang the doorbell.

"I had a hundred-dollar ring in my hand

So weak and tired I could barely stand

From bein' up all night prayin' she'd say 'yes'.

So with a hopeful heart I hit one knee

With a tear in her eye she looked at me

It was the moment of truth, I was scared to death . . ."

Relena looked up from her book, startled at the sound of the doorbell. Who could that be, at this time of night? she thought. Cautiously, she peeked out the window. Her eyes widened as she saw who it was. She hurriedly unlocked and opened the door. "Heero? What are you doing here? Come in." she said, warmly. Heero stepped inside. "Is Zechs here?" he asked warily. "No, he and Noin are staying at the Preventers' headquarters tonight so they can get some extra work done. Why?" Relena replied curiously. Heero visibly relaxed, but tensed up again as he reminded himself of what he was about to do. He took a breath and looked as if he was about to say something when he closed his mouth, thought for a moment, opened it again, only to close it again. This went on for about five minutes, until Relena couldn't take it any more. She burst out laughing at his apparent discomfort, tears streaming down her cheeks. She put a shaky hand on his shoulder for support. When her laughter ran down, she wiped her eyes and stood up straight, a grin still on her face. "What do you want to say, Heero?" she asked. Heero once again tried, unsuccessfully, to say whatever it was he needed to say. Relena chuckled again, then shook her head. "You've always been quiet, but I've never known you to not be able to say something. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to-" But she was interrupted by Heero, who had finally gotten the courage to say what he needed to. "Relena, will you marry me?" he said in a rush, plugging his ears and closing his eyes tightly. Relena was speechless. The way he had proposed had said everything he had kept inside for five years, and she was taken completely off guard. A single tear crept it's way out of the corner of her eye. Heero unplugged his ears and opened his eyes slowly. He saw the tear, and his heart seemed to stop . . .

"My life hung on what that tear meant.

Then she smiled at me . . . and I lost it . . .

No one can make me cry, make me laugh,

Make me smile, or drive me mad

Like she does . . .

It's like a curse that is the cure

Better or worse, one thing's for sure

It's real love . . .

And I don't know what I'd do

If I lost it . . ."

Relena looked into his eyes, and a smile came over her features. "Yes." she said quietly, but Heero didn't need to hear it. He knew what the smile meant and had collapsed to the floor out of sheer joy, something he had never felt before. Relena knelt beside him, putting her arms around his neck. "Milliardo isn't going to like this, you know." she said through her tears. Surprisingly, Heero laughed as he captured her lips in a kiss that held all the love he felt inside. Relena returned the kiss with equal passion. They were finally together . . .

"Well, the honeymoon ended and life began

Jobs and bills, losin' touch with friends

And that house got smaller every day.

Then, one night, the walls finally closed in

I came home late, she said 'Where've you been?

You used to call and tell me you're on your way."

It was December, a day before Heero and Relena's anniversary. 25 year-old Heero opened the door to the Peacecraft mansion, now his home. He had changed greatly since he had married Relena. He was kind and compassionate, feeling and more emotional. He now worked for the Preventers. Relena was still Vice-Foreign Minister, and she wasn't as stressful as she used to be, because Heero was there to encourage her and, yes, smile at her. She protected the ever-fragile peace through politics, Heero did the same using his expert battle skills. Life couldn't be better. he thought as he stepped inside. Relena sat staring at the fire in the fireplace with empty eyes. "What kept you?" she asked quietly. "I had some extra papers to look over, why?" Heero replied, sensing that something was wrong. "Heero . . ." Relena sighed.

"She said, 'If this is how it's gonna be then I quit.'

She walked out the door . . . I lost it . . ."

"Heero, you used to call to tell me whether you're coming home or if you've got more to do. Over the last year, we've grown apart." She stood and picked up her purse and coat. "If this is the way it's going to be from now on then . . ." her voice trailed off. Instead of finishing her sentence, she opened the door and walked away into the snowy night. Heero stared after her disappearing figure unbelievingly. He dropped to the floor in the exact same spot he had five years ago, but for a very different reason . . .

"No one can make me cry, make me laugh

Make me smile, or drive me mad

Like she does . . .

It's like a curse that is the cure

Better or worse, one thing's for sure,

It's real love . . .

And I don't know what I'd do

If I lost it . . .

Heero didn't move for over an hour. And for the first time in his life, The Perfect Soldier cried. I should have paid more attention to what she was feeling! he thought, wondering what in the world he was going to do . . .

"I picked myself up off the floor

She walked back through the door

And we made love like it was the first time . . ."

Heero stood up, eventually, and was about to close the door when he heard a voice. "Heero!" he looked out and saw Relena running up the driveway, snow sticking to her hair. She stopped in front of him, out of breath. "Relena, I'm sorry . . ." Heero began but was interrupted when Relena put a finger on his lips. "I know. I'm sorry, too." she said quietly. Another tear trailed down Heero's cheek, this time out of happiness. They kissed, Heero thanking his lucky stars that he hadn't lost his only reason for living . . .

"No one can make me cry, make me laugh

Make me smile, or drive me mad

Like she does . . .

It's like a curse that is the cure

Better or worse, one thing's for sure,

It's real love . . .

And I don't know what I'd do

If I lost it . . ."

The next day, the two held a party for their five-year anniversary. All of their friends attended, including Relena's brother and his wife, Lucrezia Noin. "So, are you two gonna have any kids?" Duo asked teasingly. Heero and Relena looked at each other and smiled. "We'll think about it." they answered simultaneously. Heero pulled Relena closer, thinking of how he'd almost lost his angel. He swore never to let it happen again. Never . . .

"Oh, if I lost it . . .

I don't wanna lose it . . ."

 

 

THE END