Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters do no belong to me, my friends, my family, my cat, dog, ferret, hedgehogs...oh yeah. And I'm not making any money off of this fic either. I'm just a bored little writer who's not willing to get out of this chair right now. So there.

AN: Just to let everyone know, Heero and Relena are already married in this fic, and so are Duo and Hilde and Zechs and Noin. Wufei and Sally are "seeing each other" and although no one's supposed to know, everybody does. Quatra and Trowa are dating OCs that I created because I don't like 4xD and Trowa and Catherine have been proven to be siblings and I cannot portray Midii at all, so I added two of my own characters to make things fair in this story. Hope you enjoy it.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Heero glared at the house in front of him.

"It's too vulnerable."

Relena turned her head and scowled at him.

"Does everything have to be strategic with you?"

He turned and met her accusing glare.

"I will not live in a house that has the potential to pose a threat to your safety."

She shut her eyes tightly and gritted her teeth in obvious frustration, then her eyes shot open.

"But it's perfect!" she yelled, turning back around and spreading her arms out wide in front of her to place his attention back on the house. He grabbed her hands and jerked them apart, yanking her to him and giving her a kiss that shut her up right quick. He pulled back and looked at her.

"No."

Relena frowned as he walked back to the car and opened the passenger side door, ushering her in. She sighed in defeat and headed for the car.

"We're never going to find a house," she mumbled.

"So, how'd it go?" Duo asked as Relena and Heero walked over to join him and Hilde at their table in the café.

"Wonderful." Relena mumbled as she sat down. Heero took a seat beside her and Duo noticed that she immediately looked away, as if she were angry.

"Something wrong, Relena?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing..." Relena started as she turned back towards Duo, then abruptly turned and yelled at Heero. "Except for the fact that if he has his way, I'll end up living in a little 8x8 room with walls made of solid steel and one tiny little barred window!"

Duo and Hilde sat wide-eyed as they watched a staring contest ensue between the couple across from them. Not only had they never heard Relena yell, but they had never heard her yell at Heero. No one yelled at Heero. They sat there watching for a few minutes before Relena finally gave up.

"You know what, fine. Have it your way Heero," She said as she pushed Heero out of the booth so she could get up. "But, if I have to suffer with living in an ugly little house," she continued slowly as she turned to him, and Heero began to feel a little nervous. She had never had that gleam in her eyes before.

"Yes...?" Duo and Hilde asked in unison, both putting their elbows on the table and placing their chins in their hands and looking like eager children waiting for candy.

"Then," she paused, taking a deep breath, then smiling evilly, "Then you're going to have to suffer with living in celibacy."

Heero's eyes widened at the same time that Duo and Hilde's jaws dropped. Despite the thousands of jokes coming to mind, Duo could only gape at the scene and hope his friend didn't dig himself in deeper.

"You're not serious..." Heero said, his eyes returning to normal so that he didn't show any signs of how much her threat truly bothered him.

"No Heero, I mean it. I don't want to spend my whole life accommodating myself to my own safety. I just want to live a normal, happy life in a normal, pleasant house. Nothing too fancy, but nothing too much like a prison."

Heero looked at the determination on her face and knew that she would indeed throw him into a pit of celibacy if he didn't give her exactly what she wanted. But, despite how much he knew he would suffer, he had to keep her safe, even if she didn't want him to.

"Relena," he began, knowing he was about to dig his own grave but deciding that she was more important, "I cannot allow you to place yourself in such obvious danger. If you want a normal life with a normal house, fine. But you're going to have to make some sacrifices in order to make sure that you are here to live that life. It's hard to be normal when you're dead." His tone was very low as he spoke those last words and he set such a glare on her that normally she would have agreed.

But this time, Relena didn't want to have to make sacrifices.

"Fine, Heero. If that's the way you feel, I can't change it. But I don't want to make sacrifices this time! Don't you see? This isn't about my safety, this about my life! And I want to live my life without constantly checking to make sure the house security system is on. That's why I decided to move out of the mansion in the first place! So that I could free myself of that burden, of constantly looking over my shoulder-"

"You will always have to look over your shoulder Relena, that's just the way it is."

"Well, I don't accept that!"

"You have to!"

Duo and Hilde continued gaping at the scene. Heero and Relena's first fight! They'd been married for about four months and neither Duo nor Hilde had ever seen them yelling like this. Duo remembered suddenly that Relena had threatened Heero with life on the couch just a few moments before, and promptly stopped smiling. He and Heero had talked about the times when Hilde and Relena had made them sleep on the couch, and Duo felt a sense of dread wash over him.

He very much doubted that yelling at Relena would make her change her mind about her threat.

After a few more minutes of arguing, Heero and Relena finally brought their voices down to a normal level, and the small group of spectators that had gathered around them turned and left. Heero and Relena were standing face-to-face with their arms crossed over their chests and the meanest looking glares pointed at each other. Then Relena broke the silence.

"I just want you to see this from my point of view, Heero." She said calmly, though her teeth were gritted.

"And I want you to see it from mine." He shot back.

Once again, Duo winced. Heero was about to regret that.

Relena glared for a few more minutes before she closed her eyes and sighed.

"All right Heero," she said, uncrossing her arms and placing her hands on either side of his face. "I know you're just worried about me, and I respect that..." she looked down at the floor for a moment before her lips formed a sinister smile and she raised her gaze to meet his eyes. "But you're going to have to get used to sleeping in the living room."

With that, she placed the tiniest kiss on his lips before she turned and headed for the door. Hilde immediately shoved Duo out of the booth, knocking him to the floor. She then ran after Relena, leaving Duo to offer his condolences to Heero alone.

After he picked himself up off the floor and brushed off his clothes a little, Duo glanced over at Heero and grinned. His eyes were wider than normal, not by much, but enough to be abnormal where Heero is concerned. He just stood there as stiff as a board.

"Hey, buddy, it's not so bad..." Duo began but stopped when Heero didn't say anything.

Heero simply stared straight out in front of him, wondering how in the hell he was going to be able to convince Relena to compromise with him about their house. He knew he couldn't let her have a house like the one he'd seen earlier that day, the moment he looked at it he knew about eight ways to break into it. But, now there was an even bigger problem.

It wasn't the thought of living without sex that bothered him, it was the fact that he knew just how good Relena could be at torturing him. If she issued this ultimatum, then Heero knew she planned to use it her advantage. That didn't bode well for him at all, because this was an argument he couldn't afford to lose. Her well being depended on it.

But, knowing how Relena thought, he knew he probably wouldn't last long against her. After everything that had just transpired, he could think of only one thing to say...

"Shit."

~~ja ne~~