By the Hand of Fate (Destiny's Decree)

Written By: Lady Eclipse

The phantom wind pulls at my hair like a rouge child begging for attention. It is bitter in its game biting at all of my exposed flesh but I do not feel it. The cold breeze attracts none of my attention as does my surroundings fail to register in my mind. The streetlights and buildings pass me by in a solemn procession winking with fading lights. Yet I could not tell you what they looked like nor what they held, I know only that I am passing them, that they are there.

My numb fingers grip a much abused satchel that contains some important document or other. I wasn't really paying attention to what they said it was for or why it was needed so urgently by a recipient across town. All that I cared was that it provided an excuse to leave that cage-like office if only for a moment. It was easy to avoid being trapped into a limo or some secure cab, they were all so busy that my promise to provide one for myself was enough. I had always been such a reasonable, good girl in the past....

I rushed out of the building swiftly in fear that they would catch on to my rouse, but the latest political upset of a shuttle bombing kept them far too busy to notice such trivial details. It has been so long since I have walked by myself, I have almost forgotten what a luxurious feeling being alone is. There hasn't been a time since I was fifteen that I haven't been dubiously guarded, watched over, baby-sat, or whatever title they like to assume for the role of making sure that the symbol of peace doesn't die or do anything foolish. I would laugh at my predicament if it wasn't so painful and confusing. What a strange feeling to love and hate the same thing. I have loved my position as the one to lead the world to peace and have loved working tirelessly to preserve it. Yet, I find myself seething with resentment and hatred toward some of the inevitable aspects that goes with it. I so hate for the world to clamor so mindlessly for my words caring only that they come from my lips. I hate that they growl and nip at me in an endless hunger for solely what they want. They act like starving dogs grown mean in their discomfort. They all look to me for whatever answer then attack ruthlessly when my answers don't meet their desires. Yet, I mustn't forget all those who truly care for the earth and colonies and are eager to work with me to help better them in any way possible. For them I must persevere and ignore the lap dogs of greed.

A very strange feeling indeed, I would laugh....he probably is laughing too at the irony of it. He always knew me so well. Perhaps that is one of the many reasons that I am so drawn to him, he was one of the few people that didn't give a damn about my money or name. I could tell in his smile that who I was wasn't the only reason he protected me. His smile gave him away. I never said anything, I never had to. There has always been a strange bond that exists between us. We understand each other as though we were one person. I guess that feeling of intimacy should scare me or make me lonely because he isn't here with me. However, it comforts me. I know that he is out there watching over me from the shadows, forever drawn to me as I to him. He knows that I love him as I know that he loves me, it is a strange love. It always has been. Whether our love is to be consummated or remain suspended in secrecy only time will tell but I know that no matter what happens it will always exist with the same intensity and purity that it has always retained. Life's path carries us along whether it is our choice or not to follow it; that is the game of fate. Fate has crossed our roads like a chain forever weaving in and out of itself; so too do we meet and leave each other in a timeless dance of eternity. For now, that is enough. To know that he is out there will continue giving me strength to face the hungry dogs of politics with a placating smile. I shall continue willing myself to my gilded cage to comfort the masses that all is well in the glass palace of peace.

I finally pause in my wanderings to take in my surroundings, no matter how enjoyable my spurt of freedom is I cannot forget that I have a purpose. The documents must be delivered. The area around me is run down and dingy with time. People walk by in a sullen silence clutching close their coats about themselves with their eyes trained firmly on their individual destinations. I glance at a street sign and try to assert my location. The name sounds unfamiliar but that doesn't bother me, I can always turn around and retrace my steps to a location more familiar. I am about to do so when I hear my name uttered in a low, expressionless voice. I do not need to turn around to identify its owner. Heero. I smile inwardly as I turn around to face him. He looks as he always has standing before me with an immovable confidence and self assurance laced with a vulnerability invisible to all but myself; I know him too well.

"Heero." I say softly.

"You shouldn't be here by yourself, this is a bad place to be alone in." He says, his eyes filled with reprimand. I half shrug,

"It's not that bad, I was just about to leave anyway."

"Where is your ride?" His bluntness never surprises me, I rather enjoy it. "I don't have one, I felt like walking."

"Hn." His eyes narrow thoughtfully. He stood studying me for a moment, possibly trying to ascertain what to do with me and my carelessness. "Where are you going?"

"The L2 embassy on South Bask Street." He merely nods and turns his head to examine the street sign I had looked to moments before.

"You're going the wrong way," He commented before walking away down a side street. "Come on, it's this way." I smile outwardly this time unable to confine my amusement as I follow him as ordered. I manage to catch up to him to walk by his side shrouded in a comfortable silence. I allow myself the occasional side glance to mark on how he's grown and take in his presence to seal away within my heart.

"Why did you leave without an escort." His tone surprises me, it's not as even as it usually is. I turn to look at him, searching his glassy eyes for the uncertainty that momentarily lingered in his voice.

"I just felt like walking....alone." He glances at me sideways,

"With all of the political upset lately it is too dangerous for luxuries."

"I know." I reply ruefully with downcast eyes.

"Then why are you taking these risks?"

"I guess I've always had a flare for danger." I reply with a laugh earning an amused smirk from him.

"I remember."

It doesn't take long for us to reach the appropriate location with Heero in the lead taking the fastest possible route. Heero paused in front of the tall, iron gates of the embassy just a few feet away from the piercing light that surrounds it to deter intruders. I stop as well and look at him curiously.

"You're not coming, are you?"

"No, this is no place for someone like me. You should be fine from here."

I hold back my disappointment admirably. "Thank you for escorting me here."

I am tempted to offer him my hand or something to that extent but I am uncertain how he feels about physical contact. I turn to leave, hesitant in my actions, unwilling to go. He reaches out and grabs my hand, I stop and turn to face him, my heart pounding wildly.

"Take a car on your way back, it's safer." I nod and smile reassuringly at him. I may lie to the others from time to time, but I won't lie to him; I can't. The uncertainty returns to his eyes as he looks down to where his hand clutches mine. Something whimsical flickers across his Prussian depths before fading again into those bottomless pools. Intrigued I shift my hand so that my fingers wrap around his. Surprise echoes upon his smooth features briefly before he masters himself. He looks up sharply at me, uncertainty and curiosity burning within him.

"You take care yourself." I say in almost a whisper. A half-smile plays upon his lips softening his normally stoic features. It is a smile he reserves for me; whimsical and longing imagining would could be if only we weren't known. After an eternal moment he draws me close tucking an index finger underneath my chin to angle it upward. We share a deep and secretive kiss hidden by the comfortable darkness of the clouded evening. Even the moon far above is reluctant to show her face in fear of betraying us star-crossed lovers. We part for air and use the time to gaze into each other's eyes; memorizing each other to sustain us during our time apart. The burning stars dancing upon the veiled velvet of the night looks on keeping our secret as it always has for so many countless other nights. This was not our first kiss nor would it be our last; his kisses never said good-bye. Heero always refuses to say good-bye to me in whatever form. He will never let me go, nor will I ever leave.

Upon the hailing of the sleepy guard, only now noticing our shadows, we part with a lasting communion of gazes. I proudly stride into the embassy lights to identify myself while he disappears into the shadows.

Ours is a strange love, it always has been. Destiny had brought us together and fate would keep us apart. Until the ever changing web of necessity that is the mixture of fate and destiny strangely entwined like fluttering ribbons releases us of its pattern we will meet and leave each other in this endless dance of eternity. We will love each other in the blackness of night bowing our heads to the dawn to resume the roles that were assigned to us.

One day, when my wearied soul is released from its tireless struggles and the world no longer needs me, I will run into the night, to you, and never come back. That is my promise, my final note of destiny, my reward. Hold fast our sacred love my battered soldier. There may be an ocean between us, but it shall not keep me away from you forever. I will brave the thrashing waves of society and storms of unsupported righteousness guided by the brilliant light of your heart. One day.....I will.....

~There's an ocean between us
You know where to find me
You reach out and touch me
I feel you in my own heart
More than a life time still goes on forever
But it helps to remember you're only an ocean away.~
"Only an Ocean Away"
As sung by Sarah Brightman

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This, of all the stories I have written, most reflects my opinion of the relationship between Heero and Relena. After countless hours of reflection and tireless analysis of the series and OAV I have come to the conclusion expressed in the above story. Thank you for reading and feel free to write. I would love a debate, but do not flame me with no intention of letting me defend myself. Everyone is free to have their own opinion, please respect that right as I respect the rights of others.
Yours, Lady Eclipse