Disclaimer: Not mine. Period.

Author's Notes: Thought I had forgotten about this story, didn't you? Not me....it takes me awhile sometimes, but I try to finish everything I start;)

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Close Your Eyes
by Kristen Elizabeth

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"All right, Miss Dorlian. The last time you were in here..." The younger detective snorted. "Well, you forgot to mention a few *tiny* details." Relena blinked and waited for him to continue. "So...why don't you tell us about the ba..."

"Hey." The older detective held up his hand. "Let's go about this the right way, shall we?" He cleared his throat and scooted his chair closer to Relena's. "Now...Miss Dorlian. Is there anything you'd like to clarify about the year before your birthday? Anything you might have neglected to tell us?"

Relena shook her head. "No," she whispered.

"Miss Dorlian." The older man reached for her pale hand. "Perhaps it might bring back some more of your memories of that night...if you'll talk about the things that happened last year."

"I don't know...what you want to know." Relena licked her dry lips. "It was just a year...no different than...any other year."

The younger detective shook his head. "You must really think we're stupid, Miss Dorlian. Do you think we don't know? Did you think we wouldn't find out about the..."

"The baby?" she whispered. "Is that what you're talking about?"

"We'd rather you talk about it, Miss Dorlian," the older detective replied. There was a long pause.

"We're waiting!"

Ignoring the younger man, Relena folded her shaking hands in her lap. "Yes. I did have a baby."

"Who's baby was it?"

Her lower lip quivered. "Heero's."

"You told him about it?" the older man asked, gently. She nodded. "When?"

"I told him...I told him the day I found out." Relena reached for the glass of water they had provided and after a fortifying sip, began her story.

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I didn't need the store-bought test to tell me I was pregnant. I could just feel it. Maybe that sounds crazy...but since you already think I am, so be it. I felt pregnant. The test just confirmed it.

Not wanting to keep it from him a second later that possible, I arranged to meet with him that afternoon. Yes, I had to arrange to meet him to tell him we were going to have a baby. Don't ask me any more about that, please. It was just the way we were.

I won't ever forget the look on his face when I told him. I could practically see him pulling away. He was so overwhelmed. So was I, but I suppose I was still assuming that we would have each other to help work through the problems my pregnancy presented. When he asked if I had considered not having the baby, I threw all my hopes out the window and faced up to the facts.

Heero wasn't ready, nor did he want to be a father.

He left a couple of days later.

Quatre was the second person to find out. I assume he's the one who told you about the baby. I don't mind...he's always been such a good friend, but I can't expect him to lie for me anymore. I'm surprised he agreed to do it in the first place. But he knew, as well as I did, that being pregnant, unmarried and the Vice Foreign Minister was not a good combination.

He could feel I was pregnant too. When he found me in my bathroom, clinging to the toilet, he held my head, brushed my hair out of my way and said, "He's a cold bastard."

I was too sick to disagree.

We came up with a plan. I would disappear from the media until the baby was born. Moreover, if only to make things easier, I would gradually withdraw from everyone else, too. My friends, my family, my public. Everyone but Quatre. He was my lifeline those long months. Long, lonely months....

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She was crying and neither detective knew what to say. Finally, the older man put an awkward hand on her shoulder. "Do you love Mr. Winner?"

"Of course I do," she said between sobs. "But not like he wanted me to."

"Mr. Winner said you didn't resent the victim, even though he left you alone and pregnant." The younger detective gave her a hard look. "Is that true?"

Relena's sobs were slowing as she regained control of herself. "I just wanted him back. I kept thinking he would come through my balcony in the middle of the night." She wiped her eyes. "But he didn't. I had his baby. I..." She forced the words out. Forced the truth. "I watched it die in my arms a few minutes later. I buried her...and he never came. He never came until the party." Relena lifted her shoulders. "And then...it was too late."

The younger detective opened his mouth, presumably to ask more about the lost child, but his partner quickly spoke instead. "We're very sorry for your loss, Miss Dorlian." He patted her shoulder. "Was it too late because you had fallen out of love with him? After all you'd been through?"

After a moment of thought, Relena shook her head. "I never stopped loving Heero. It's why I couldn't marry Quatre when he asked."

"Mr. Winner asked you to marry him?"

She nodded. "He loves me. Sometimes...sometimes I wish I could love him like that, too." Her eyes clouded over with fresh tears. "But I can't."

The younger detective gave an audible, exasperated sigh. "So, if it wasn't too late for you to forgive Yuy, what the hell was it too late for?"

Relena's answer was a long time in coming. Her smooth forehead crinkled. "I...I don't know. I can't..."

"Remember. Yeah, yeah...we've been told." The younger man leaned towards her. "I just bet you do, though. And I think you're just not telling us. 'Cause maybe telling us would explain why you blew him away."

She visibly recoiled. "I'm telling you the truth. I can't remember!"

"Was it too late because you'd already made up your mind to get rid of him? Was it too late because you were looking forward to pumping his chest full of lead after what you went through when you gave birth to his unwanted..."

"Hey!" The older detective shot to his feet. "You're out of line," he informed his partner in a dangerous tone.

"She's been holding back vital information from us from the start!" the other man declared. "And she's still doing it!" He addressed Relena. "Aren't you? Aren't you keeping some big secret? I can feel it....so why don't you save us all a little time and energy and just fucking remember!!"

"I can't!!" she screamed. Tears streaked down her cheeks. "I can't remember!! There was something...something he told me. But I can't..." The bout of energy passed and she slumped back down, burying her face in her hands. "I can't remember. I swear....I can't."

The younger detective wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Can't...or won't?"

"Can't..." she whispered. "I can't remember. I can't..." Her voice dropped even more, until the detectives couldn't even hear her. "It hurts too much to remember, Heero. I can't..."

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