Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine but the storyline. Hey, that
rhymed.
Author's Notes: Sorry for the immense delay. But to be entirely
fair, the site was down for a good portion of it;) Thanks for
all the sweet reviews; it makes me very happy that yall are into
the story.
****
To Dance Beneath the Diamond Sky
by Kristen Elizabeth
****
"When I dance, I cannot judge. I cannot hate. I cannot separate
myself from life." -Hans Bos
"Movement never lies. It is a barometer, telling the state
of the soul's weather." -Martha Graham
****
For the second morning in a row, Heero was a no-show in biology
class. To add to Relena's worry over the situation, she was called
to Mr. Berardis' desk on her way out at the end of the period.
She clutched her book bag's leather strap as she walked back to
him.
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Yes, Relena." The teacher gave her a long look. "Your
partner's been absent for two days now."
She glanced down at the floor. "He's been having some...trouble
at home."
"And I'm sympathetic to that. As I have been about the deadline
for your project." He stood up and put his hands in his pockets.
"But I'm afraid I can't extend it any longer. You and Heero
must do your project a week from today...or else you both fail."
Relena took a breath. "I understand, sir." An awkward
moment passed. "We'll get it done, I promise."
Mr. Berardis nodded. "I'm looking forward to it."
As she walked out of the classroom, Relena chewed on her lower
lip. "Please be okay, Heero. If that bastard's hurt you again...I'll
kill him."
Throughout the rest of the day, Relena expected Heero to show
up around ever corner she rounded. But when the final bell of
the day rang and it was time for her to head to the theatre, he
still hadn't appeared. At least, she figured, there was dance
class. It took a lot of willpower for her to keep from jumping
into a cab and speeding to his apartment building. Something was
wrong with Heero. She could just feel it.
****
For the first time since Hilde's injury, Duo did not head to the
hospital after his classes let out. He hailed a taxi, fighting
the urge to instruct the driver towards St. Luke's. Between clenched
teeth, he muttered, "Lincoln Center," and closed the
door behind him.
They were halfway uptown when Duo suddenly changed his mind. "Wait...St.
Luke's, please."
Ten minutes later, the cab stopped in front of the massive, west-side
hospital. Duo rolled down his window to look up at the tenth floor.
After a long moment of contemplation, he rolled the window back
down. "Okay. Lincoln Center."
"You okay?" the cabbie asked, indifferently.
Duo lifted his shoulder as he stared at the buildings and people
they passed. "My ballerina girlfriend got injured and is
lashing out at me because she thinks her whole life is ruined."
The cabbie blinked. "That's women, kid. If it's not one thing,
it's another."
He sighed. At least the cabbies of New York City were on his side.
They arrived at the stage door entrance a few minutes; a black
limousine pulled in right behind them. As Duo climbed out and
paid the driver, he caught a glimpse of blond hair and plaid school
uniform emerging from the limo.
"Princess," he called out as he dug a few dollars out
of his jeans. "Thanks, man." After the driver sped off,
Duo ran over to Relena. "You're here early."
"I always get here early," she replied. "You're
just never on time to see it."
Duo frowned at her distant, quiet voice. "What's wrong, princess?"
Relena played with the leather strap of her book bag. "Heero
wasn't at school today. I'm worried about him."
"Maybe he just woke up feeling bad and decided to take the
day off so he'd be okay at rehearsal." Duo held the double
doors open for her as they entered the backstage area.
"Yeah. You know, you're probably right." Relena shook
her head at her own paranoia. "That does sound like Heero.
School is way down on his priority list after ballet."
"And ballet is starting to creep down the list thanks to
you." Duo winked. "So...was I right about that whole
sleeping together thing?"
Relena gave him a mock look of exasperation. "Nosy,"
she accused him. "Do you see me asking how far you and Hilde
have gotten?"
Her friend's face immediately fell. "No. I'm sorry, princess."
"Hey, Duo!" She ran down the corridor to catch up with
him. "Did I say something wrong? I was teasing you, I swear."
He slapped a smile back on, determined not to weigh anyone down
with his own problems. "Nah, it's fine. I was being nosy."
Relena smiled. "I just don't think you have to ask. Isn't
it obvious?"
Just then, they both found themselves jumping to one side as someone
came barreling down the hallway behind them. Relena recognized
his presence before she even got a glimpse of his face. Heero
roughly brushed past them without a single word. The heavy steps
of his shoes were the only sounds in the hallway for a long time;
they faded as Heero put more distance between himself and them.
Finally, they stopped.
Duo looked at Relena. She was standing very still, not blinking.
"Princess..."
Ignoring him, she dropped her bags and started after Heero. He
reached for her arm to hold her back, but she evaded his grip
by a mile. "Princess!" Duo shouted again. She was already
far gone.
****
"Hilde Schbeiker?"
"What do you want?"
An older woman in starched white pants and a smock entered the
room, pushing a wheelchair with her. "I'm Dr. Parks. I'm
going to be your primary physical therapist. It's nice to meet
you, too."
For this, Hilde turned her head. "I just had surgery. I'm
not ready for physical therapy."
"No one's ever ready for physical therapy, sugar. But we're
starting you off small, just so you don't lose any muscle tone
in the time it takes for you to heal. Now..." Dr. Parks reached
for her hand. "Let's get going."
Hilde folded her arms over her hospital gown and closed her eyes.
"I'm not going. What's the point?"
The therapist sighed. "Look, I'm going to be frank with you,
Hilde, because you're old enough and it's been a long day. There
are a lot of people I help who will never be able to walk again,
but keep trying every damn day of their lives. Now, you're healthy,
you're young and you're able to make a full recovery. So get in
the wheelchair and quit feeling sorry for yourself."
Hot tears flooded Hilde's eyes. "You have no idea what you're
talking about. You don't know anything about me or my situation!"
"I know enough." Dr. Parks leaned on the metal railing
of the bed. "I heard you're a dancer."
"Was." Moisture tricked down the edge of her nose. "I
was a dancer."
Dr. Parks nodded sympathetically. "I can see you've pretty
much resigned yourself to the facts, then."
Hilde sniffed. "The facts?"
"Well, I mean...a severe injury such as yours..." The
doctor indicated her ankle. "Certainly there's nothing you
can do for yourself, right? Might as well give up. And hey...it'll
certainly free up some of my time."
"You know, you have the worst bedside manner I've ever seen!"
Hilde pushed herself up in bed, her tears angry now, rather than
pitiful. "You can't just tell me to give up! Isn't that against
your Hippocratic oath or something?"
The older woman smiled. "You're right. I can't tell you to
give up. It's your choice."
"And I'm not going to be tricked into making that choice."
Hilde lifted her chin. "When I'm ready for physical therapy,
I'll tell you."
Dr. Parks nodded again. "All righty then. When you're ready,
I'll be down the hall helping a girl who lost her right arm below
the elbow in a car accident a few months ago." She pushed
the wheelchair back to the door. "Twenty years old. She was
a first chair violinist at Julliard. Life's a bitch, isn't it?"
It took a long time after the doctor had left for Hilde to realize
her tears no longer had anything to do with her own misfortune.
"Duo," she whispered to the empty room. "I'm sorry..."
****
Relena caught up with him inside the men's locker room. Not caring
if they were alone, she barged in after him. Fortunately, it was
deserted. "Heero! Heero, are you all right?"
He stopped in front of a locker and twisted the combination. After
opening the door, he reached inside for his workout clothes.
"Heero, you weren't in school. Are you feeling all right?"
Relena stepped closer to him. "Did your father..."
"Are you planning to stay while I change?" Heero cut
her off.
She blinked once, then twice. "Um...I don't know." A
blush painted her cheeks. "It's not like we haven't seen
each other without...you know...our clothes on."
He snorted softly. "I'm sure you're very used to seeing naked
men, but I'd really prefer it if you would just leave me alone."
"What does that mean? Heero?" Relena could hear her
heart beating in her ears. Something *was* wrong with him. And
it seemed to be her. "Are you mad at me?"
Shaking his head, Heero slammed the locker door shut. "It's
really irrelevant at this point."
"You didn't call me last night. You weren't in school today.
And now you're treating me like I have the plague." Relena
reached for his hand. "Heero, if I've upset you somehow,
the least you can do is tell me, so I can..."
He pulled his hand away from her. "Don't touch me."
Relena's entire body was suddenly very cold. "You're really
scaring me, Heero." There was a long pause. "Look, I
don't know what's wrong, but I'm sure that whatever it is, we
can work through it."
"Work through it?" Heero repeated, slapping his ballet
shoes against the bench. He turned on her. "You've lied to
me since we met, betrayed me...and you think if you bat your eyelashes,
it'll all be okay? Well, it doesn't work that way, Relena. We
don't work through this."
"What is it?!" she cried, desperately fighting back
impending tears. "Lied to you? I've never lied to you, Heero!
And I've certainly never betrayed you! I don't understand what
you're talking about!"
He stripped off his hooded sweatshirt and tossed it down the bench.
"There you go. Keep right on lying, Relena. You probably
don't even know when you're doing it anymore."
Relena found her own head shaking back and forth; her hair swung
from side to side. She stared at nothing in particular; the hateful
expression on his face matched his words, making her unable to
look at him. "Heero...why are you...? What happened since
yesterday...to make you think I'm this horrible person who lies
to you?"
"Why don't you start telling the truth, Relena" His
words were precise, spoken in a tone so low, she had to strain
to hear them at all. "Tell me about the other guys."
"What other guys?" She stamped her foot. "Heero,
you're not making any sense! You are the only guy! Just you; no
one else!"
He stood up in just his jeans and reached for her chin. "Are
you lying now?"
Relena's tears flowed over his hand. "Why are you doing this,
Heero? I'm not lying to you. I've never lied to you!"
"I was your first?" he asked, flatly.
She flinched. "You were the first."
Heero's fingers dug into her skin. "The first to touch you?
Kiss you? Fuck you?"
His ugly words were too much to bear. "You're hurting me."
Relena jerked her chin out of his grasp. "What do you want
me to tell you, Heero?"
"For starters...tell me about Jean-Paul."
Relena could actually feel all the blood draining from her face.
Completely dry, her throat stuck as she tried to swallow. "How
do you know...about him?"
Heero took a step back, looking at her as though she had stabbed
him in the heart with a butcher knife. His anger melted for a
minute and was replaced by pure pain. Her words seemed to have
ripped him open and now he lay completely exposed. "So,"
he whispered. "It's true."
"Heero?"
He held up his hands. "Just...stay away from me, Relena."
"What?!" She pushed tears off her cheeks. "Heero,
Jean-Paul...he was...I mean, it wasn't anything..."
"I don't want to hear it."
"You don't understand..."
Heero turned on her, his Prussian blue eyes threatening to spill
forth their own tears. "I don't want to understand!"
he hissed. "I don't need to understand why you lied to me.
It's enough to know that you've laid down for every available
guy between here and Paris. Has Duo had a ride, too? Maybe the
rumor was true and you did fuck Treize to get the role of..."
The locker room resounded with the sharp crack of Relena's palm
against the side of his face. A long moment passed as Heero's
cheek began to turn pink. He slowly turned his head back around
straight to look at her. Relena's eyes were windows into a raging
blue storm.
"If I told you the truth right now," she finally began
in an amazingly collected tone. "You would feel like the
scum that you've just proved you are."
"You're assuming I'd believe anything you say anymore."
He touched his numb cheek.
Relena backed up towards the locker room doors. "Is this
the real Heero Yuy? Was the guy I fell in love with just an illusion?"
He turned his head away and reached for the zipper of his jeans.
She was being dismissed. No longer even a blip on his radar screen.
But Relena wasn't about to take it lying down...like he, for some
unfathomable reason, seemed to think she was good at doing. "You
don't get the luxury of cutting me out of your life, Heero. You
do realize that, don't you?"
Heero pushed his jeans down his legs and kicked them off, leaving
him in only his boxer briefs.
Relena's trembling fingers found the metal bar to push open the
double doors. "You're still my lab partner in class. And
you still have to dance with me in front of three thousand people
in two weeks. Unless you want to fail at either or both of those
things, you're going to have to suck it up and deal with me."
She pushed the door open. "I don't know where you get your
information, but check your source. Someday, you're going to understand
just what kind of mistake you made here today."
He merely reached for his dark dance tights. With his back turned
to her, he could let his feelings flow, but they were tears Relena
never saw.
Before she left, she allowed herself one final comment. "I
really did love you. I wonder if you can say the same."
"I can," he said out loud a long time after she left.
Her words still haunted him, but every time he started to really
think about them, he could only remember her mother's words over
the phone. What possible motivation would a teenager's mother
have to fabricate lies about her daughter's sex life? It didn't
make any sense, he told himself. Relena was the only one with
any cause to lie.
*Still,* a little voice in the back of his head reminded him as
he pulled a black tank top over his head, *You could have handled
it better, couldn't you have?* Heero's hands balled up into fists.
He hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut once she had managed
to pry it open. It was just that the slightest mental image of
her with another man drove him crazy. Didn't she know that there
had never been anyone but her in his life? Didn't she understand
how much it had taken him to let her be the first?
*You called her a slut. You accused her of using sex to get Hilde's
part, therefore accusing her of not being good enough to get it
on her own. You treated her like garbage.*
Heero slammed his fists into the lockers. She had told him he
would have regrets. He already did.
****
Duo found her curled up underneath the staircase that ran between
the dressing rooms and the stage floor. It was fifteen minutes
before rehearsal was set to begin and she was still in her school
uniform. Her smooth cheeks were stained with a thousand tears;
her hair was rumpled as though she had been pulling at it.
She couldn't speak when he gently called her name. It took another
five minutes and a lot of clever persuasion to get her to crawl
out from under the stairs. Ignoring the curious stares from the
rest of the cast, Duo led her to quiet corner of the green room.
When the stage manager came looking for them, Duo had let her
curl back up into a ball on the soft couch and was trying to get
her to drink some water. He kindly informed the stressed woman
that Relena's understudy might have a chance to practice that
day.
Relena listened to everything without actually hearing any of
it. Ten minutes later, she looked straight into Duo's eyes as
he continued trying to get her to talk.
"Princess?" What he had been saying was instantly forgotten.
"Princess, what happened?"
She reached for the cup of water and took a long sip. "Heero
and I broke up," was all she would say.
Forty minutes later, Relena was dressed, warmed up, and running
towards Heero's outstretched arms. When he lifted her into the
air, he might as well have been mechanical crane for all the emotion
he put into it. And for Relena, he was nothing more that something
solid between her and the floor. The magic was gone and dancing
had never been more of a chore.
****
To Be Continued