FORGOTTEN SOUL

Chapter Seven

Heero closed and locked the door, then turned to face Releena.

Releena watched him tensely, unwilling to meet his gaze, unable to face that cold, empty glare any longer. 'Heero, what's happened to you?' she thought despairingly, fighting the tears that threatened behind her eyes. 'Why have you reverted to that cold, unfeeling machine again? Why do that to me, to us?' Biting her lip, she sneaked a peek at him and saw him staring back impassively, as mysterious and dangerously beautiful as he was when she first met him.

'Have you gotten tired of me, Heero? Do you despise me for being weak; for showing so much emotion?' She bit her lip even harder to keep from crying, and tasted the sharp tang of her own blood. 'Have you decided that human emotion has no place in the life of a soldier? Is that why you're shutting us out again?' Her throat closed up on her at the thought, and she cried silently for her love. 'Heero, you've come so far. You were really trying to overcome your past, to trust your friends and open up a little, even though it was hard for you, and I loved you for it. I still do. And I always will....but....if you become that machine again, Heero, you'll be killing both of us....'

"Releena." Heero's flat, emotionless monotone interupted her thoughts. The Perfect Soldier was standing very stiffly, she realized, which always was a sign that he was highly uncomfortable, or about to inform her of something that she wouldn't like. His next words, however, made that the understatement of the year.

"We shouldn't see each other anymore."

Releena felt a dagger take a vicious plunge into her heart. Gazing into his eyes, she searched his face for some spark of emotion and found nothing but emptiness. He might've been giving her the time of day, rather than crushing her heart under his heel. Her mind screamed at her to say something, to argue with him to change his mind, to beg him to stay, but all she could manage at that point was a choked, whispered: "Why?"

Heero turned away. "You're a distraction," he said, and she had to sit down before her legs gave out on her. "I can't protect you efficiently any longer, and I can't complete my missions if we continue this way. It's too dangerous, for the both of us."

The tears that threatened finally spilled over and began running down her face. "Heero, don't do this. I'm sorry; I never realized....please don't leave." She knew she was begging shamelessly, and her pride stung a little, but the knowledge that Heero was leaving swallowed everything else. And as always, he was fighting her with logic, while her desperate attempts to argue with him were based on raging emotions. It clearly defined how different they were, how unlikely it was that they should be together. Releena was all too aware of this as Heero turned back to face her, his expression calm and controlled as he regarded the girl who was very close to breaking down.

Releena tried to compose herself. "Whatever it is, we can work it out, Heero," she whispered, hating the way he looked so distant and unruffled, while she was shaking with the effort not to burst into tears. She wasn't reaching him, and she knew it. Standing up, she tried walking towards the silent figure, but stopped when he tensed and made to back away, plunging the knife even deeper into her heart. "Heero..."

"Don't," Heero growled at her. "I...." He paused for the barest fraction of a second, and Releena sensed the walls snapping into place from within. "I don't love you, Releena," he said coldly. "I never did. I'm a Gundam pilot; I'm incapable of loving anything, it's time you knew that. I do and say whatever it takes to get the job done, even if it means destroying someone. You're not my mission anymore. You're a distraction now; an obstacle. Get in my way again, and I'll kill you."

His words sliced into her, cutting her heart to ribbons. Her legs were unable to support her, and she sank to the floor in the middle of the room, sobbing quietly into her hands. Heero watched without emotion, his expression neutral, though his fists were clenched so tightly at his sides his knuckles were white. Taking a deep, furtive breath, he turned his back on the silently weeping girl and walked firmly to the door.

Mission accomplished. It was done, but Heero took no pleasure in it. Every step he took assulted his senses with feelings of guilt, pain, and a self loathing so powerful it almost choked him. At the door he paused, his hand on the knob, suddenly feeling that if he walked out that door, he'd be destroying something beyond repair, and would never be able to heal it or bring it back.

"I'm sorry." The words came out of his mouth almost without him realizing it. "Releena...."

"Just go," was the choked, whispered reply. Heero set his jaw and went, slamming the door behind him.

He almost ran into Noin as she was sprinting down the hall, and quickly swerved out of her way and kept going, ignoring her as she called his name. She would find out what was happening soon enough from Releena, and he hoped that she would take him off bodyguard duty permenantly. Releena wouldn't want him anywhere near her, now. She must positively loathe him.

Heero pushed those thoughts away. It was for the best. He really didn't want to hurt the girl; that wasn't part of the mission. He just wanted to finish what he was supposed to do as quickly as possible. By now, they must suspect that he was acting a little strange.

"Heero!"

That was Quatre's voice. Heero stopped his hell bent rush down the hall and waited for the blond pilot to catch up with him. As he stood there, his mind began working furiously. How could he get Quatre out of the Preventer's Headquarters to a place where they wouldn't be noticed? He wondered if Trowa was here as well, since the tall pilot often accompanied Quatre wherever he went.

"Hey, Heero." Quatre smiled his charming smile at him, and Heero answered with a curt nod. "What have you been up to lately?"

"Is Trowa here?"

"Trowa? He should be on his way. Noin called us and asked if we could meet her right away; something about the stalker being right under our noses." Quatre suddenly frowned and leaned a bit closer to Heero, his eyes clouding over with concern.

"Heero, you ARE okay, right?"

Heero shrugged. "Why would you say that?" he asked, deliberately making his voice sound more weary than usual. If he played this right, he could use it to his advantage. He was guessing kind hearted Quatre would pick up on his subltle misery right away.

He was right. Quatre's eyes softened and he regarded Heero with genuine worry. "You sound like something is bothering you, that's all." Heero folded his arms and looked away. "Heero, if you want to talk, about anything, you know I'll listen. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up inside."

Heero took a deep breath and released it, running his fingers through his hair. "Releena..." he muttered, keeping his eyes on the floor. "She.....she broke up with me."

Quatre looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. He stood there with his mouth hanging open, staring at Heero in shock. Heero pretended not to notice. "She told me that she didn't know me anymore, and that if I was going to continue to act this way, she didn't want me around." He swallowed hard and bit his lip, wondering how much of this was an act, and how much was genuine. This seemed to be affecting him much more than it should. Folding his arms over his chest, he kept his eyes on the ground and whispered the words that would close the trap.

"Quatre....what do I do now?"

"Heero, I'm so sorry....come on, we have to talk." Quatre motioned him down the hall and Heero followed readily. "How about I get you out of here for a few minutes, huh? Is that okay, or do you have something you have to do?"

"No, that's fine. Releena.... released me from my duties after...." He didn't say anymore, but could see the sympathy in Quatre's eyes. All was going as planned, but Heero still couldn't shake the guilt, or the pain, that continued to harass him as he followed Quatre into the parking lot. Menecing gray clouds were beginning to gather overhead, and a chill wind had picked up, ruffling both boy's hair as they crossed the pavement. Quatre unlocked the doors to his handsome black sports car, and Heero climbed in just before the first drops of rain began to spatter the windshield.

As the sleek black car pulled away from the building, the passengers didn't notice another vehicle start to follow them out of the parking lot. Trowa's green eyes were filled with suspicion as he followed a safe distance behind his two friends. After the call from Noin, the disappearance of Duo and Wufei, and Heero's recent strange behavior, the tall pilot was taking no chances. He didn't want to think that Heero could be the one behind these questionable events, but Trowa had learned early that when you were a soldier, anything could happen, and he wanted to be ready. And frankly, the idea of his best friend, alone with the now unpredictable Heero Yuy, had him more than a little worried.

"Be careful, Quatre," he muttered as he followed Quatre's sports car, now unmistakably heading for Heero's dark, secluded neighborhood. "If he does anything to you, I swear I'll kill him myself."