Note:~ indicates dream sequence

~ She saw herself walking in the desert, the sands stinging her delicate skin as a harsh wind flung the tiny grains against her form.She was so tired and thirsty, her body large and awkard.

When did she gain so much weight?

She came to an abrupt halt near a lone plant standing in solitary loneliness as the wind and dry sands tore at its fragile leaves.It was a rose . . . sickly and blackened from lack of moisture and too much sun.Wilted, shrunken petals hung sadly from the drooping stalk.She felt tears sting her eyes from the sight.

The wind stopped.

Closing her eyes, she sighed softly then opened them again and let out a startled gasp when she found a white rose intertwined with the black.She reached out to touch the dead rose, and immediately took her hand away when it suddenly came alive.The black, puckered petals expanded and brightened to a deep red hue, the browned, bent stem straightened and faded into a bright green, wrapping around the white rose in a strangely intimate manner.

Awed, her fingers caressed the red then the white before noticing a third . . . this one was pink, nothing but a small bud, hardly worthy of the name `flower', but she still felt something akin to tenderness toward the young blossom . . . She didn't understand.

Gunshots rang out, bursting her eardrums . . .

"Run Relena . . . Don't look back . . ."

Now she was running for her life through the dense jungle, fear making her heart beat accelerate to a dangerous level, the burden she carried making her gasp with pain and desperation.She could no longer feel her legs, and the realization hit her that she wasn't running but being carried by someone who was running.

Sleek black hair and the flash of pale but dirtied skin identified this person as Wufei . . . Why was Wufei carrying her?

She heard the sound of distant yelling, gunshots ringing out as a stinging sensation erupted in her shoulder, and Trowa . . . what was he saying?

RRRREEEELLLLLEEEEEENNNNNAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Blood.There was blood everywhere, and it was all hers.The white rose was bleeding, the pink bud had bloomed, and the red . . . the red was . . .

She was now back on Libra, staring out of the window into space.She was once again a naive fifteen year old, trying to figure out her older brother who had proclaimed war on the Earth she loved.She was once again a fledgling politician.She heard the door swish open, but instead of dismissing whoever had dared to disturb her musings, she turned about to face down the intruder.The barrel of a gun was shoved in her face, but she couldn't see who held it.

The trigger was pulled.

The white rose died.

The screams became clearer.It was Heero's voice screaming her name. ~

With a cry frozen on her lips, Relena shot up into waiting arms.Her heart beating in an

unnaturally speedy rhythm, she clutched the warm body closer needing the security and stability offered by another human presence.A hand smoothed her hair and rubbed her back in soothing circular motions, trying to calm the trembling and shivering caused by the terror she felt coursing through her veins.

That dream had been too real, the urgency too authentic, and the pain too intense.

A shudder passed through her body, and she leaned her head against a hard shoulder and opened her eyes.Funny, she hadn't even realized they had been closed. Her eyes darted from side to side, taking note of what little of her surroundings she could see.She knew she was in the hospital, but she had known that just from the smell of the place, that sterile smell that clings to the nostrils unnaturally, negating anything that brings a sense of `home'.The walls around her were done in cheery pinks and bright yellows to inspire a sense of comfort, that things weren't as bad as a sick person might think.They didn't bring her any comfort, but they did bring back the nausea she had been suffering from for the past week or so.

"Oh God --"She could feel it rising, and with a panicked yelp, pushed her companion away roughly, jumped from the bed, and --

"The IV --"

But it was too late.The IV tubing became tangled with her feet, and Relena, along with the IV stand, crashed to the ground.

On her hands and knees, Relena wretched between sobs, drowning in her misery.Pressing a hand to her stomach, she tried to calm the raging storm brewing there to no avail.It just kept coming, the bile painting the sterile white tile floor a grizzly yellow color.

"I . . . I'm s . so --"Her hands gave out from under her, the strain too much for her weakened body, but just like before, she didn't fall as a gentle arm snaked around her waist, pulling her up against a very solid, strong body and looping the other arm under her legs.She could tell it was the same person who had picked her up in the street.She looked up into a familiar face.

"Trowa?"

He didn't say anything as he carried her into the bathroom. Relena noted he must have righted the IV stand and pulled it into the bathroom with her, but before she could ask why he was even there, he set her on unsteady feet.

"Take your time.I'll go get the doctor," he spoke softly, his green eyes grim as he took in her thin paleness.She could imagine what he saw, blonde hair lacking the luster of life, pasty white skin, black circles marring the area beneath her dull blue eyes . . . she must look a sight.She didn't even know what was wrong with her yet.

Feeling slightly uneasy and embarrassed under his scrutiny, she nodded, dismissing him, but felt loneliness fill her as she heard the click of the door closing behind him.She didn't have many friends to begin with, the Gundam pilots and the women associated with them were her only really trustworthy acquaintances, and she hadn't seen them in a small eternity.It was truly ironic that the night when she had planned a surprise visit with them was the night fate had failed her.

Trying to distract her thoughts, Relena pulled off the bile soaked gown and moved to turn on the showerhead to steaming.Stepping in and reminding herself to be careful of the IV, she felt instant gratification as the hot water sloshed down her body, taking the rank smell of vomit fromher skin and into the drain.It felt good, the lather she worked upon her skin washing away the bad memories of the last few hours -- at least for a little while -- along with the nausea, the pellets of hot water beating and massaging knotted muscles as she rubbed shampoo into her hair and scalp.She felt refreshed, clean, renewed . . . like the past 24 hours never happened.She felt alive . . . like her old self.

Stepping out of the shower, feeling better than she had in days, Relena spotted a crisp, clean nightgown hanging near the door and smiled.She changed, the smile still pasted on her face, and exited the bathroom only to be confronted with an empty room.She shouldn't have been surprised, but deep down she had hoped someone would be waiting for her.Oh well, she would just have to wait for the doctor.

The doctor . . .

As she moved to lay back on the bed, positioning the IV stand where it wouldn't hinder movement, she reflected on what could possibly be wrong with her, cataloguing the different symptoms in her mind:nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and fainting.It could be as simple as an inner ear infection or something life threatening, but she was no doctor nor did she have any medical training so she really shouldn't stress herself with half-guesses and paranoia induced self-diagnoses.

Stress.Maybe that was it!She had been more worried and exhausted than usual.With the new threat looming just beyond the horizon and Heero's disappearance, it was amazing she hadn't driven herself insane by now.She would have to start taking it easier, perhaps stop taking so many appointments everyday and begin sleeping in on weekends.It sounded so appealing . . .

Lost in her own thoughts, Relena didn't hear the doctor enter the room, and jumped when the sound of a throat being cleared reached her ears.The doctor was a middle-aged woman with short brown hair and kind violet eyes sparkling behind horn-rimmed glasses.Her white coat was immaculate, her brisk gait bespeaking professionalism as she stepped closer to the bed.

"Hello Relena," the doctor smiled gently, and Relena found herself smiling back easily, "How are you this morning?"Relena allowed the doctor to check the IV, her blood pressure, reflexes, and listen to her heart.

"I'm fine I guess.I threw up just after I woke up though."

The doctor nodded and straightened, settling her stethoscope around her neck and whipping out a medical chart which Relena assumed to be hers."Yes, Mr. Barton explained as much to me.However, in your circumstances it's perfectly normal."

That got Relena's attention, "Circumstances?"

"Yes dear," the doctor smiled then gasped and held out her hand, "Goodness, where are my manners?I'm Dr. Anita Tully.It's a great honor to meet such an influential young person."

Relena blushed, smiled, and shook the hand offered her, "Thank you."

"Now that introductions are out of the way," Dr. Tully snagged a nearby chair with her ankle and sat down, her expression all business, "I'd like to explain a few things about how I like to approach patients before I get into your diagnosis."

Relena nodded, her poker face set and ready to mask any hints of the internal worry she had begun to feel at the change in demeanor.

Sensing the girl's nervousness, Dr. Tully patted her hand gently and smiled, "Relax dear.It isn't as serious as you're probably expecting, and considering how your brother nearly mauled me in the hall a few minutes ago, I expect you were thinking the worst, right?"

"Well . . . Milliardo is a bit extreme when it comes to my wellfare," Relena blushed again, her expression turning sheepish.

Dr. Tully suppressed a chuckle, eyes reflecting her amusement, "Now, first I'd like you to know that, if it can be helped, I like to keep my patients' business confidential to the extreme, meaning that unless you give me direct permission to tell your mother, brother, friend, whoever what your diagnosis is, I will keep it under lock and key.I like to have a good raport with my patients, and I've found that the more I keep to myself, the more they trust me.I haven't hinted at what these files state, and I won't say anything until you give me the word. Understood?"

Relena nodded again.She wondered where this was going.

"This also means that anything you say in this room, stays between you and me."

Nodding again, Relena became even more suspicious.What, exactly, was the problem here?

"Dr. Tully, should I be worried?"

Shaking her head, the older woman smiled reassuringly, "Not at all.The truth is Relena, you're just a little undernourished and slightly dehydrated, but other than that, you're in perfect health.However, I do have a few questions to ask you for record purposes, and I want you to be totally honest with me."

"Very well."She didn't sound to eager, but she figured she had no choice.

"When was your last period?"

"What?!"

"Please Relena.Humor me."

Relena sighed, "I don't know.I was never really regular to begin with, but if I had to estimate, I'd say about two months ago."

"Ok.Are you sexually active?"Dr. Tully, scribbling on Relena's chart, never saw the startled look Relena threw her way.

"Well . . . um, yes.I suppose once counts as active."

"And when did this occur?"

"Doctor, is there a point to these questions?"

"Yes, I'm trying to estimate your due date."

"WHAT???!!!!"

"Goodness Relena dear.Didn't you realize you're pregnant?"Dr. Tully looked up at her and smiled, but the smile faded when she saw the dazed look in Relena's eyes.

For her part, Relena was shocked.Totally, utterly shocked.Pregnant?Dear God, and on the first time too.

"I take it this wasn't a planned pregnancy," Dr. Tully speculated softly while Relena came back to her senses, subdued, her hand resting tenderly on her abdomen.

"Could you leave me alone for a little while?I need to think, and . . ."

"Say no more," Dr. Tully patted her hand, standing up, "I'll give you a few hours to come to terms with this."She turned to leave, but Relena called her back,

"You can tell Milliardo and the others what you told me . . . Just don't tell them I'm pregnant . . . Please."

"My lips are sealed.I'll get you a few packets of herbal tea which will temper the nausea down a bit so you won't be afraid to eat, and I DO want you to eat. I want complete bedrest for the next week, and I WILL have your friends out there to reinforce that order. Also, I'll get you a few pamphlets on pregnancy and a list of good OB/GYNs in the area."

"Thank you Dr.," Relena murmured, her mind already retreated inward to the new life she carried.

Dr. Tully smiled tenderly at the blonde, "Your welcome Miss Peacecraft."

"Can you PLEASE do something with him Noin?"

Noin giggled at the irritated look on Relena's face.The poor girl had come home five days ago, and Milliardo had been the most attentive, concerned brother any little sister could ask for. Relena, no matter how flattered and pleased she had been at first, was fast becoming a little suffocated by the constant attention being paid her.His latest offense had occurred only minutes ago.Relena had gotten up to use the facilities when Milliardo had unceremoniously picked her up into his arms and carried her to the bathroom, offering to help her do her business.Noin had run upstairs to the music of Relena screaming at her flustered brother.

"He's just trying to protect you Relena.You gave us all quite a scare."

"I know . . . It isn't that I don't appreciate everything you guys have been doing, it's just I'm starting to feel so . . . so spoiled."They both giggled a bit at that, remembering how she had been before the war had forced her to become who she was at present.

"Don't worry!Just think in two more days he might just let you stand up on your own!"

Relena was almost certain Noin was jesting but laughed with her sister-in-law anyway.It was good to laugh, and she had been doing a lot of it since she had gotten out of the hospital.The sickness had slackened somewhat since she wasn't moving around as much, and the tea had helped settle her stomach considerably though, like clockwork, she always woke at around two inthe morning to empty her dinner in the toilet.Despite morning sickness, she was also gettingtwelve hours of sleep per day, which at once was a blessing and a curse since she would have to shoulder her normal workload in a few days, but for now, she would make the best of this vacation.

Noin and she chatted for a few more minutes before Noin told her that Zechs was taking her out to dinner and that Hilde was coming over to watch over her.Relena could have screamed.If Zechs, Noin, or Pagan wasn't there to keep her off her feet they would ask either Hilde and Duo or Quatre and Dorothy to come and babysit her.Didn't they realize she could handle bedrest on her own?

Smiling and nodding, keeping her real feelings to herself, Relena watched as Noin closed the door behind her.As it had so many times in the past few days, Relena's hand found itself pressed to her stomach.

She hadn't told anyone yet, and it was killing her inside.When she had found out, she was shocked and scared.She didn't know what to do, what to say, how to react to such an out-of-the-blue surprise, and now . . . now she couldn't get over the wonder of it all.

She was going to have a baby.Heero's baby, another life created because of something she and Heero had done together.The thought sent pleasant chills through her body while causing a sweet ache in her heart.Somehow she had to tell him, but she had no idea where he was or even if he was still alive.Since that last night, she had become fairly certain that he had come to her to tell her goodbye forever, that he had accepted some sort of suicide mission; yet, at the same time, she couldn't believe that he was dead.They were connected in a way unfathomable to anyone but themselves.Wouldn't she have felt it if he died?

Caressing her tummy, her mind became absorbed in imagining what her child would be like.Would it be a girl or a boy?Would he/she have her hair or his?Would he/she have light blue eyes or the dark, intense Prussian blue of his?All she was sure of was that Heero had given her a precious gift whether he was aware of it or not, and it was eating at her that she couldn't tell him he was going to be a father, that she couldn't share with him this miracle of life.

But . . . if she couldn't bring herself to tell her own brother, what made her think she'd scrounge up the courage to tell him?

"Oh baby, we are in trouble," Relena murmured softly.She had taken to speaking to the baby for it calmed her in ways she couldn't understand but didn't really think about all that much.She was content to just wait and imagine.She was going to be a mother, and she didn't have anyone to share the excitement with.

Relena sighed, "Maybe I should tell your Aunt Hilde first hhhmmmm?"

Her stomach growled in response which initiated a giggled from her, "I'll take that as a

yes."

Another rumble.

"Yeesh kid, what a big appetite you have.Must take after your Uncle Duo.It's a good thing your Aunt Lu loves us enough to bring dinner upstairs, isn't it?"

The door opened to reveal Hilde who flew onto the bed, crushing Relena in an iron embrace.

"RELENA!!!!I'm so glad to see you're not sick anymore!"

"Thanks Hilde . . . Can you let up just a bit?"

Hilde released the blonde girl with a sheepish smile, "Noin and Zechs said they'd be back before midnight, and Pagan and the other servants are off for the night which means . . ."

"I can get up?"

"NO!Be serious Relena, do you think I want Zechs to kill me?Nope, it means girl talk!!!!Lots of it and without fear of being overheard!"

Relena shook her head as a giggle escaped her throat.Hilde could be such a child sometimes, but Relena suspected that's what made them such good friends. Relena tampered down Hilde's outrageous-ness while Hilde gave Relena laughter.

"Why didn't Milliardo come to tell me he was leaving?"

Hilde made a face, "Noin thought it would be best if they would just leave since he's so overprotective when it comes to you.She was scared he'd try carrying you to the bathroom again . . . Did he REALLY do that?"

Rolling her eyes and snorting, Relena nodded while Hilde hooted with laughter.

"It wasn't funny," Relena whined, mock-serious.

"Oh God, you remind me of Duo the way you did that!Do it again!"

Relena giggled hysterically at that, and the conversation turned to Hilde and Duo's upcoming nuptuals.

"So have you set a date yet?"

"Yep, a year from today.I want you to be my maid of honor."

Relena beamed and blurted, "Only if you'll be god-mother to my baby." Relena slapped a hand over her mouth as soon as the words passed her lips.She certainly hadn't planned to tell her that way.

Hilde's eyes bugged out, "Baby?"

"Um yeah, I'm sort of pregnant.Surprise!"She gave a nervous little giggle, waiting for a

reaction.

Silence.

More silence.

"Hilde?Are you still breathing?"

"OH MY GOD!I HAVE TO TELL DUO!!!!!"

"WAIT!!!!"

Hilde halted, her mad dash for the phone put on hold as she turned excited eyes to her best friend.

"Please don't tell Duo.I'm trying to keep this a secret until I find the right time to tell Milliardo."Relena gave her a pleading look.

"But Relena --"

"No buts Hilde."

Looking downcast for a moment, Hilde's face brightened as she ran back to Relena and crushed theother girl in an ecstatic embrace, "OOOOHHHHHH Congratulations! That kid is going to be so spoiled!I mean just think, me -- a godmother!"

Giggling uncontrollably, Relena allowed Hilde to hug her.She felt so relieved that she was still accepted, but had she really expected anything less from the brunette?

"Thanks Hilde, and it would be my pleasure to be your maid of honor."

Hilde sat back on her heels upon the bed, her face suddenly serious as she cupped Relena's cheek with one hand.

Relena blinked, subdued and puzzled, "Hilde what is it?"

"I just realized . . . Who's the father?"

Oh God . . .

"Well . . . Remember, no telling Duo!"

"My lips are sealed."

Satisfied that her secret was safe, Relena told Hilde everything about that night, glad to finally get it all off of her chest, to share her burden.Hilde listened attentively and held Relena as she cried then laughed with her as they speculated on what aspects the child growing within Relena's body would inherit from it's parents.It was a good bonding experience for the both of them, and the night passed in companionable warmth.Relena didn't feel quite so lonely anymore.

"Cobra has infiltrated Point 4.Phase 1 has been successful. Now initiating Phase 2."

"Very good.Sustain communications.Continue surveillance of Cobra's progress."

"Yes Sir!"

Sally Po and Lady Une stood together at the edge of the control room at Preventer HQ, staring at the rather large view screen across the room, both women lost in their own thoughts.

Heero had left more than a month ago, and no word had come from him.All they really knew was where his plane had crashed, and that he had infiltrated the enemy's camp.Other than those meager facts they were left in the dark, and it was driving Sally crazy with worry.Something was wrong.

"He should have reported to us by now."

"All we can do is wait," Lady Une answered even though she knew the comment had not been directedat her.She had trusted Heero with this mission because of his thoroughness and drive to get the job done, but she hadn't anticipated the size -- a veritable army -- of the enemy, their strength a match or more for the Preventers.She just hoped he hadn't been discovered, fervently prayed he hadn't been captured.

"Commander Une!"

"Yes Private?"She had to make a conscious effort to keep the weariness from her voice.

"We have a problem sir.All communication to and from Cobra has been cut off."

"Well?Have you tried to reestablish the connection?!"She really didn't mean to sound so gruff or loud, but her heart had ceased beating.Sally came up behind her and gasped.

"We've tried sir, but whoever or whatever cut us off, they're good."

A sudden realization hit both women at the same time.Heero was good. Heero was more than good.Heero was the best.Heero was now flying blind . . . on a virtually suicidal mission.

Hands balled into fists, Lady Une barked out orders to the scurrying soldiers while Sally looked on a bit misty-eyed,

"What are we going to do?We can't just leave him there."

Lady Une sighed and collapsed into a nearby chair, "We can't spare the Gundam pilots, especially with Relena being targeted over five times a day, and I wouldn't trust anyone else to get him out.Right now all we can do is wait and hope for the best.If I know Heero, he'll probablyreestablish communications after the mission has been completed successfully."

Sally didn't like it, but she had to admit there were no other alternatives.Heero was on his own, and it was a very real possibility that his luck and skill wouldn't be able to save him this time.