Disclaimer: Not mine and all that jazz.

Author's Notes: I love everyone. You all give such nice reviews.

Dedication: To the people who are sticking with the story.

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Two Can Play
by Kristen Elizabeth

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"...come all ye faithful...joyful and triumphant, oh come ye, oh come ye to...

"Why do we frequent the only bar on Earth that plays actual Christmas carols?"

Quatre looked down at his hot tea and tried to think of an answer for Heero. "If it were up to me, we wouldn't be at a bar."

"Yes, but Quatre, the ladies look at us funny when we go to the tea room." Trowa smiled when Quatre gave him a reprimanding glare. He picked up his peppermint Schnapps. "Here's to decking the halls and Duo, too."

"I'll drink to that." Heero lifted his beer before taking a long swallow. "I swear, he's just gone a step too far this time."

"You know, I have to say I'm really uncomfortable with this whole us versus Duo thing." Quatre shook his head. "It's unsettling."

"Well I'm not happy with how far he's taken this bet. From the moment we agreed to it, he's been pushing the boundaries. All right, so he gave me a rash that lasted for four days. I could handle that. But to put Relena in a humiliating situation with her brother..." Heero's hand tightened around his beer bottle. "I'm ready to call the whole fucking thing off."

Quatre dunked his tea bag up and down. "I guess we never realized how precious his hair is to him."

"It's not the hair", Heero declared. "Well, it's a lot about the hair. But it's mostly about him and me. Ever since we met it's been a constant struggle for superiority. Who's the better pilot, who's the better soldier." He took another swallow of beer. "Sometimes I think we're only friends because if we were enemies, we'd destroy each other."

"I don't know if I agree with that", Quatre replied, thoughtfully. "You're doing a pretty good job of destroying each other under the guise of friendship."

Heero was quiet for a minute. "You know the crazy thing? I don't want to fight with him." He gave his friends a hard look. "I'm just drunk enough to say this, so I want you two to be just drunk enough..." He amended his statement for Quatre. "...and just nice enough to forget I ever did." Heero took a breath. "He was the first friend I ever had. He's my best friend. And I don't want to lose that over something like this."

"So..." Trowa lifted his drink. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to tell Relena about the bet."

Trowa shook his head. "You're not going to tell her about the bet."

"And why do you think that?"

"Because...there's no point in her getting hurt unnecessarily." He downed the last of his peppermint liquor. "The solution to your problem is simple, Romeo. She has a balcony. You have the skills of a rock climber. There's nothing stopping you."

Heero set his beer down. "Trowa...don't you think that if it were that simple, I would have thought of that a long time ago? The balcony is out of the question. Her security system is unpenetrable. I should know...I fucking designed it!!"

"Then you should know its weaknesses", Quatre reasoned. "A midnight interlude is very romantic, Heero."

"Duo knew. Somehow, he knew." Heero picked his beer back up. "It's like he can read my mind....like he knows just when I'm about to win. And then....he pounces."

"You're giving him far too much credit." Trowa pulled out his wallet to pay for the drinks.

Heero ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe I should just let him win, if it's this damn important to him. Relena and I will sleep together someday....so what if it's after Christmas instead of before? As for the panties..." He took a breath. "I've done worse things."

"That doesn't sound like Heero Yuy." Trowa handed the bartender some money. "Backing down from a mission?"

"Relena is not a mission", Heero informed him. "She's...."

"The woman you love?", Quatre supplied.

"And as the woman you love, can you really live with knowing that you let Duo keep you away from her?" Trowa clapped a hand on Heero's back. "I saw her when she came to you in the ballroom, Heero. Breathless in anticipation and virginal eagerness. And I know how she looked when you came back down ten minutes later. Hair spilling around her shoulders, lips swollen..."

Quatre studied him with a teasing look in his eye. "Are you sure you're gay?"

Heero scowled. "I get what you're saying, Barton. And you're absolutely right. I don't care what the cost...Duo is *not* keeping me from being with her." He tipped his head back, swallowing the last of his beer. "Tonight, after this damn ball, I *will* be spending the night with Relena."

"That's the spirit", Trowa said, approvingly.

"Thanks for the drink. I owe you." Heero grabbed his coat and quickly left the bar. There was a minute of silence after he left.

"To answer your question, Quatre.....yes."

Quatre took a nervous sip of his tea. "But how do you know for sure? Sometimes I even ask myself..."

Trowa took the teacup out his hand and entwined his fingers with the smaller man. "When I'm next to you, I want to be in bed, making love to you."

"Yes, but is that lust or love? As we've learned from Heero, they're not necessarily the same thing."

"It's both", Trowa replied. "They're not the same, but they're undeniably linked." The pad of index finger caressed the back of Quatre's hand. "I could show you..."

Quatre gracefully pulled his hand back. "I don't remember either side winning this bet yet. So neither you nor Duo have won your bet, either. Which means, neither one of us has won *our* bet." He smiled. "If Heero can wait, so can you."

Trowa sighed in defeat. It looked as though he'd be spending another night alone. His hand curled around his empty glass. One way or another, this bet had to end....and fast.

****

"Oh god!!! Oh god....Duo!!! Harder....please....Duuuu...." The last syllable lost to the throes of passion, Hilde collapsed onto Duo's sweat-slick chest. He hit his own peak, releasing himself deep inside her body. They lay in a boneless heap for several long, content minutes.

Finally, Hilde propped herself up and looked down at the satisified expression on his face. "Welcome back, little Duo", she whispered.

Duo pulled her down, tucking her into his arms. "He's very glad to be home", he replied, truthfully.

She laughed and kissed his neck. "I suppose we have Heero to thank for this."

"No, no, no. He had nothing to do with this, babe", Duo assured her. "Trust me."

Hilde shifted on top of him. "You know, it's been awhile since you've mentioned him", she said, sleepily.

"So?"

"Well..." She nuzzled his ear. "He is your best friend." Duo made a non-committal noise in reply. Hilde opened her eyes. "You two didn't have a fight, did you?"

Duo stroked her back. "I wouldn't exactly call it a fight."

"What would you call it then?"

"You're going to get mad if I tell you..."

She lifted an eyebrow. "After a line like that, I'll be even more mad if you *don't* tell me."

He gave in. "Heero and I sort of made this bet. About Relena." He continued before Hilde could interrupt. "Neither one of us have any intention of hurting her, I swear. We just have this bet going that Heero won't be able to...um...sleep with her before Christmas."

"Oh Duo..." Hilde's voice was thick with disappointment.

"I know what you're thinking. That it's stupid and childish."

"Amung other things."

Duo held up his hands. "You don't understand, Hilde. I can't let him win this one. And it's not just my hair." She gave him a puzzled look. "If I lose the bet, I have to cut my hair. But it's more than that. It's like..." He paused, searching for the words. "He always wins, Hilde. No matter what...I've never been able to beat him."

"I wasn't aware there was an ongoing war between you two", she said, dryly.

"There's not. Not really. But I always feel like no matter what I do, I can't ever measure up to him. He's the Perfect Soldier and I'm..."

"Throwing away the best friend you've ever had over your stupid pride", she finished for him.

Duo blinked. "Ouch. Retract your claws for a second, babe, and try to see it from my point of view."

Hilde's eyes narrowed. "I don't think I can do that. See, I'm a woman. I'm programmed to think differently. The only person who's point of view I can see is Relena's. And I see someone who could be so massively hurt and betrayed by this that she might never recover." Hilde sat up, straddling Duo's waist. "Duo...do you love me?"

"Of course I do. But what..."

She covered his mouth with her hand. "Would you do anything for me?"

"Mphfm..."

"Would you call off this ridiculous bet before you end up hurting the person who least deserves it? And in the process, will you salvage your friendship with Heero?" She lifted her hand from his mouth to let him answer.

"Heero won't back down from the bet." Duo grabbed her hips and rolled her over until she was underneath him. "I guarantee it."

"Then..." She nipped his neck, inflicting the perfect combination of pain and pleasure. "...you'll just have to be persuasive."

Duo's hand cupped her between her thighs, touching her flesh, still wet with their ecstasy. "I can't say what Heero will do..." He slid a finger into her warmth. "But I'll try...."

Hilde threw her head back and arched her hips to meet his fingers. "Promise?"

He moved down her body to replace his fingers with his tongue. "I promise...."

****

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas....just like the ones I used to know...."

Relena bypassed the carolers without a second glance. They could dream of a white Christmas. She was stuck with dreams of the things she seemed unable to do with Heero.

Noin approached her side. "I swear, the lines get longer every year." She held up a shopping bag. "But it's worth it to have found the perfect gift for your brother."

"I'm sure he'll love it", Relena said. "Do you know what he's getting you yet?"

"I have a sneaking suspicion it's jewelry." Noin smiled. "What about you? Have you found a gift for Heero?"

Relena shook her head. "Everything I think of seems so....trite. Meaningless." She shrugged. "I told you....hardest person to shop for in the entire world."

Noin chose her words carefully. "What about the other thing?"

"Ask my brother", Relena replied, darkly.

"Oh, he already told me", Noin assured her. "I didn't get a word in edgewise, as a matter of fact." She turned her head to look at the younger girl as they walked through the open air shopping center. "Don't tell me you're going to let that stop you."

Relena lifted her shoulders. At the bidding of a Santa with a bell, she dropped a few coins into a red bucket for charity. "The more I think about it, the more I think Milllardo might just be right."

"Oh.." Noin shook her head. "Don't let him hear you say that. I have enough trouble keeping his head from swelling."

"I am a policitian. And as such, I have a greater responsibility to the people I represent. I can't deny that and pretend like what I do...how I conduct myself...doesn't matter."

Noin put a hand on her arm, bringing them to stop. They were a motionles island in the streams of holiday shoppers. "Relena, you are not a slave to your position."

"I know." Confused tears flooded her eyes. "I want to be with Heero more than anything. But maybe all these setbacks happened for a reason. Like the fates are trying to tell me that what I'm doing is wrong. Not morally wrong, but *politically* wrong."

"Politics should never be a factor in matters of the heart", Noin said softly.

Relena wiped away a tear. "Please don't make this harder for me than it is. I already face the daunting task of telling Heero."

"Telling Heero...what?"

There was a pause. "That I can't make love with him."

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TBC