Alone

By Melville's Best Friend

She looked outside her window. Torrents upon torrents of rain fell upon her marble etched balcony. She placed a fragile hand on the window, and let out a sigh. She wouldn't cry; not ever. She felt too strong for that. Years of political preparation had kept her void of emotions. Nevertheless, her eyes fogged. She shut the dark blue orbs, and tried to inhibit the urge to sob.

Somewhere they're speaking.
It's already coming in
Oh, and it's rising in the back of your mind.

It was palpable to anyone who knew her that she was resisting her emotions. He saw it noticeably. Positioned outside her entryway, he watched her. It was staggering how peaceful her body looked. But, her eyes, her eyes gave away her mind-set.

You never could get it,
Unless you were fed it.
And now you're here,
and you don't know why.

She was despondent. He wished he could end her wretchedness, not as a guardian, but as a friend. The life she led wasn't the life she sought. It was so unmistakably obvious. He'd be there for her for eternity; he always had been, even if she didn't unswervingly see it. He would always watch over her, never ceasing always devoted.

But under skinned knees
And the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn,
You howl and listen,
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return.

She had ridden herself of love, too. He couldn't get through to her. She went on with her life like an automaton. Even Quatre was vexed. She could look Heero in the eye and not have any reflection of love or hate. She wouldn't show any sign of exhilaration, of wretchedness, despair or pain. This is what she did, he supposed. She would lock herself away from the rest of the world, and succumb to the demons that were haunting her soul.

He's everything you want.
He's everything you need.
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be.

Still he wasn't sufficient. She needed something that could shatter the chains in which she tousled herself. He tried, though. He felt accountable for her umbrage towards life. Maybe if he never left she'd be better off. Still, he insisted on helping her acquire her life.

He says all the right things
At exactly the right time.
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why.

She wanted redemption. She wanted autonomy. She couldn't sway herself from this hell. She wanted reassurance, but sought after it through no one; not even herself.  She sat in a mahogany chair by the balcony window. In her hands, she cuddled an aged, discolored teddy bear, given to her by her true love. When he left, he took her heart. Now that he was back, she couldn't seem to salvage it. She wondered where he had lost her eternal flame for him. In one of his missions she thought.

You're waiting for someone
To put you together.
You're waiting for someone to push you away.
There's always another
Wound to discover.
There's always somethin' more
You wish he'd say

He could somehow read her thoughts. He never lost her heart. On the contrary, he kept her love for him deeper in his soul than any other standpoint or memoirs he had. Unfortunately for him, she was a problematical woman. And, unfortunately for her, he was not good at revealing much of a persona. They were at a stalemate when it came to their relationshipif that's what it was called.  Heero thought of it as a correlation.  As far as the rest of the world was concerned, they weren't mutual. Each knew, however, that they were meant for each other.                                                                        

He's everything you want.
He's everything you need.
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be.
He says all the right things at exactly the right time,
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why.

Why couldn't he make her comprehend? Why couldn't she demonstrate how she felt? What was this aching he felt? Why was she void of sentiment? When could he tell her? How could she tell him?  Questions exploded through their minds like lightning. Neither one could disclose anything. Neither one could speak. She sensed him at the door. Turning around, she met his gaze with that of her own stony world. She never faltered. She didn't move except to blink. He was getting perturbed with her lack of reaction. He starred back with the same strength she gave.

So you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind.
It's only what you're asking for-

She wasn't going to acknowledge him. He realized that. He couldn't procure his eyes from hers. His heart burned with a need to wipe away her unshed tears. She couldn't be this callous; she felt. Why was she repressing?

And you'll be just fine
With all of your time.
It's only what you're waiting for.

He clenched his fists. Looking at her was getting more and more difficult. She lowered her gaze. Apparently, she lacked the strength to stare him down. Standing up from her chair, she brushed off her dress, and gradually headed over to him. Her motions gave no trace of what she was feeling. She was as poised as ever.

Out of the island Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned.
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return.

She stood next to him, as close as she could without touch. She looked at him, his strapping shoulders, shielding arms, and sheltering hands. Her gaze finally caught his. Her eyes  were as monotonous as ever. " I never forgave you for leaving, you know." She whispered. He looked at her eyes, and , for only an instant, he saw a ember. She was extraordinarily hurt. He had damaged her. " I never thought of you as a warrior, Heero. I always saw you as an angel." She averted her eyes; looked at her hands. Her voice was firm, a hint of harshness to her once vivacious and melodic tone, " I look at you now," she said, passing through him into the hallway, " as a fallen angel."

He's everything you want.
He's everything you need.
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be.
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you and you don't know why.

As she left, he closed his eyes. " You will never be a fallen angel, Relena. I'll free you from the barriers you've established around yourself, and I will protect you. Always." She stopped in the middle of the hall. " You've already failed your mission, captain Yuy." She resumed walking. He turned to face her, only to see her shimmering golden tresses disappear behind the bend.

"Relena."

I am everything you want.
I am everything you need.
I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be.
I say all the right things at exactly the right time,
But I mean nothing to you, and I don't know why.

"I will never love again." She said to an invisible Heero.

And I don't know why.
Why.

"I will keep my promise. You will be free. I'll free you, Relena."

Why And I don't know.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gunadam Wing. I wish I did though. I also don't own this song. It's by Vertical Horizon, and it's called Everything You Want. It's a good song. I really thought it could portray the two lovers well. Well, all my devoted fan, ( ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ) can I get some input, please? I would appreciate some feedback. I'm having a pretty crapy senior year. There are only 17 people in my marching band. ( groan) anyway, I'd appreciate something, anything. Even if it's a flamewell, no okay, I really don't want that, but.someone reply. Thanx.