§Rei here, well here is chapter 3. Songs are written by me, I do not own Gundam Wing§

Relena looked up at the ceiling of her room, "Oh Neo what happened to you?"

Neo Wing Zero went from Neo Zero to Neo Wing Zero and now to Neo Death Angel.

Sighing she dried the last tears that had refused to fall off. Relena sat up, she looked down at her white dress that was soaked from her tears and from the rain, she took it off and changed into a sky blue one, it looked like the color like the sky she saw. Relena heard a knock on the door and heard a cheerful voice, "Hey Lena, dinner is done, come on down and eat. Lena?"

"Hey Duo, tell them I'm not hungry."

"Oh come on, Lena, you've hadn't eaten for over a week now."

"How would you know?" Relena chuckled.

"I've seen you train all day and not eat."

"Okay you caught me Duo, tell them I'll be down in five minutes, and if later, I'll not be eating."

Relena heard Duo sigh, and she smiled, Relena removed her shoes and took the blue ones that matched her dress, she put on a sweater and then looked in the mirror to check herself. Relena's smile faded, the dress was to bright and it didn't suit her mood right then, she changed into a dark red almost making it seem ruby. She changed her shoes and placed on a silk sweater that was thin. She checked herself and headed out, she saw that everyone was already there, but what made her frown more was that she was to sit by Heero. And worse of all, the food was laid out all over the table, 'I guess everyone noticed that I didn't eat all week.' Relena slowly walked over and sat down, going a bit far from the table but not too much, she felt a tight knot is her stomach form up.

Suddenly everyone grabbed food and placed it on her plate, she looked down and saw that she was pulling on her dress she looked up and meet gazes begging her to eat. She slowly picked up her fork and then stopped, placed it down and then stood up, "Excuse me, but I think I won't be eating tonight."

She turned and left leaving everything silent, she then heard, "Damm it, my plan didn't work!"

'That was Heero's voice.'

"Calm down Heero."

"Me calm! Look she'll starve herself to death and not only that but she'll stress herself up!"

She wanted to march in there and tell Heero the truth but she didn't. She walked up the stairs and into the training room, alone so no one would be able to monitor her about her true skills, and yet... powers. Since using the STAR system, some how it had given her powers, very strange ones that scared her.

She didn't do anything, she froze into thought, 'How will I stress myself up? Heero is crazy!'

Relena forgot about training and went into her bedroom and found a very bad mood Heero Yuy sitting on her bed and as she could have seen, two trays were on the table by him and his arms were crossed around his chest.

"Heero?"

"WHERE HAVE YOU'VE BEEN?"

"Training, what else?" Relena said in a calm voice.

"IS THAT ALL YOU DO IS TRAIN!" He yelled.

"Is there a problem about that? You use to do that all the time."

"THAT ISN'T THE POINT! AT LEAST I ATE! AND NOT STRAVING MYSELF!"

"I'm not starving myself." Relena said still in her calm voice.

"YOU ARE STRESSING YOURSELF UP!"

"No I'm not."

Heero bent down and kissed Relena long and hard, tears were falling out of her eyes and staining her cheeks making them more pale. Relena felt pain as Heero bit her lip hard and caused blood to fall, Relena moaned in pain. Heero pushed her away, staring at the blood dripping from the corners of her mouth, her skin was pale from the tears.

"Relena... I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay." Relena wiped some blood away and went into her bathroom, Heero felt dizzy and sat down back on the bed, touching his lips, 'Blood.' When Relena came out of the bathroom, the blood was gone but small drips seemed to fall out once in a while, Relena sat  down on the bed by Heero, she saw that he fell asleep, well she couldn't carry him back and she didn't want to wake him so she placed him on her lap and rocked him. Soon she fell asleep but not until she placed him on her bed.

**********

When Heero awoke, he felt heat all over his body and something wet and cool running on his forehead, he could feel a cool hand clasped with his. He opened his eyes and smelled the air around him, it was faded roses. 'Relena...'

"Relena."

"Heero, you should sleep."

"Why?" Heero sat up but Relena pushed him down, he then knew that he was in Relena's room.

"You have a big fever."

Heero didn't answer, he fell asleep.

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Weeks had passed, Relena had token cake of Heero and still didn't eat, she didn't even train and she sat by him. Heero would cry out to her when he slept.

***************

Heero had now gotten better, when he stood up he did not see Relena. Shrugging he went and changed, and looked around for Relena. What made him frown was that Relena had gotten more thin and more tried out.

"Relena..."

She looked at him trough sad eyes, and her pale skin glemed like faded glass through the sun of a church.

Relena didn't smile, nor moved, she made him sit down. "Have you've been eating?"

Relena said nothing, she looked out into the sky for a long time and took a long deep breath before she said, "Yes, a lot."

'But she looks so thin and so fragile and so sad.'

Heero wanted to touch her cheek but couldn't find himself to do it, not with her like this.

"You can ask Duo if you want to believe in me." He did, Duo said, "Yeah, a lot."

Relena coughed, and then cocked her head, her eyes gleam like jewels glittering from the open waters. She smiled, a sad one to him, he touched her cheek, "What's wrong with you?" Heero whispered, Relena didn't hear it.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Heero." Answering, as though reading his thoughts.

Heero didn't say anything, just stroked her cheek more, her flesh had gone from sunshine warm to ice cold that not even Heero could bare to touch. But he kept on going with touching her pale milky soft cold skin. Relena smiled sadly at him, she did nothing but let him stroke her cheek over and over with his strong warm hand. Relena sighed, it slipped trough her ice cold pink lips and then it returned to the sad smile.

Relena suddenly stood up, leaving Heero sitting down at her feet, she stared coldly at the sky then to the base. The air around them stirred into a different colder and fresher scent, the smell of fresh leaves falling the woods with the fresh rain lightly tapping on it. Relena suddenly dropped onto the floor, out, the blackness flooded her and sealed the gate, trapping her into a dark dark dream.

"Relena!! Relena!! Wake up!"

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When Relena was laid on her bed...

Relena's dream

What's going on?

Where am I?

Relena walked up the stairs, making echoes as she went up, her dress was short and ended at her knees. It hugged her figure tightly.

This is Heero's apartment.

Tears started to flow down on her cheeks,

Where is Heero?

Relena stopped, she ended at a door, the number said 102, Heero's apartment door.

Relena knocked, there was no answer, but she heard a moan, could it be a girl?  Relena knocked again, with more strength into it, still no answer, Relena looked at the carpet and made sure no one was looking, there was no one but her and the door. She knelt down and got the secret key in her palm. Relena slowly put the key in, and turned the knob, she heard a click meaning that it was unlocked now. She opened the door to find a girl and Heero! The girl had milky brown hair, darker then Heero's and she didn't have a shirt on, nor did Heero.

*****************************End of Relena's Dream*************************

"AHH!" Relena woke up, she had broken through the gate which was to trap her into the dream and watch the whole story of it. 'Who was that girl?'

She didn't cry, nor whine, she just sat there, lost in her thoughts, she shook her head. Relena gasped and took a long breath in then she took it slowly out, she looked around, the room was gray and small, cold too, but Relena didn't mind.

It had a laptop on a small desk, "This isn't my room."

She slowly stood herself up, to feel dizzy, Relena ignored it. She walked out of the room and let the warmth fly away and letting the coldness flood onto her, Relena walked down a hall, it was all  gray and didn't have a single door.

It was darker and the shadows seemed to follow her around. Relena came to an opening, which lead to the training rooms and the halls of where you can see the gundams. Relena walks toward the hall where her gundam was kept. It was large and the hall floated up where you can see half of it and when you looked down, you would see the rest. Leaning on the railing to watch her gundam for a while she headed off and into another hallway. It had doors stretched out, Relena heard voices coming out of each one. She stopped at one, a smaller room then her training room but had the same stuff and it was right next to her training room. This was Heero's training room. Relena opened it, but to her surprise, Heero was sitting on the floor, back leaning against the wall, his fist were bleeding, and it looked like he had made a hole in the wall that he was leaning on. "Heero..."

Heero jumped at the voice. "What!" Heero said coldly, then his eyes softened, "Oh, Relena..."

"You're hurt!" Relena rushed to him, picked up his hand and placed on her bare cold lap. The flesh had become warm now, no longer the coldness like when Heero had touched it before.

"I'm fine, I don't feel remember?"

Relena ignored his comment, and started to rip her dress into strips, Heero watched her. "Relena, don't."

"Don't worry, Dr J made something special in my uniform, to stretch before he left." Relena started to wrapped the warm cloth which was imprinted her scent, her warmth, and care. As she finished, she whispered something into the air, but Heero had managed to catch what she was saying, "Sometimes, the dark will come out from the light, then the light has no way to come out unless their heart is full or fight to their death of their inside to stop their dark." Relena then told Heero, "You shouldn't have punched that wall, you know?  It's not like any other walls you've punched."

"Oh really?"

"It's not made out of brick nor cement, it's out of all five powerful things."

Heero didn't say anything and silence hung them for a long time. Relena smiled at Heero, her smiles were now very rare and it seemed like forever just to get her eyes to soften or to see her smile.

Relena stood up, her dress was ripped and showed more then ever, Relena pulled it and it grew back to what it really was with all the marks of her ripping still there. "Oh well, I'll just have to sew it later."

Relena then stepped out of the room quietly, stepping out of sight and stepping out of everything she stood for and Heero's heart once more, every time she left, she came back again for a short time but to Heero, it was like... something bright and warm and somehow right. But then she would leave after Heero saw her for what she stood for and all that.

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For the past three months, Relena hadn't grown any thiner nor thicker, she stayed the same but lost weight although she ate a lot.

"Maybe we should let her see a doctor."

"It's okay, I'm fine." A voice so sweet but meaning so cold. They turned around to find Relena. However they did managed to get Relena into the doctor's.

"Well... bad news, Miss Relena weighs about 59 pounds and is 120 pounds underweight, but she seems okay and healthy."

Relena walked out of the room and met up with the other pilots, "So what did the doctor say?"

"RELENA WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Heero yelled at her, holding her thin wrist and stood up, he held her wrist tightly.

"There is nothing wrong with me." Relena answered, in a soft voice and cold with anger in it.

"RELENA LOOK AT YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT THE DAMM HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU, SO TELL US WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"I don't know what is wrong with me, and there is nothing to say about it."

Heero slapped her, hard, he then saw the red mark he had just given her, Relena looked up at him, meeting his face, she wasn't crying nor held the mark, "I've already told you that I don't know what is happening to me, and if I did I still wouldn't tell you because it is none of your business." With that, Relena left, running before anyone could do anything and in seconds she was out of the hospital. Everyone stared at Heero then each other, Heero stared at his hands, they hurt like hell, and it was blazing red but not as dark as the mark on Relena's cheek.

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Relena ran back to the base, Relena went up the metal stairs and into an office, she knocked. The scientists had placed the new parts and told them what the trip was all about, and the new parts were added into the gundams. "Come in."

Relena stepped in, she stood at the door, she didn't even hear another open, Relena didn't have to, she already knew that the others had came back. "Dr J, I'm leaving."

"What? Why?"

"I'll leave Neo Death Angel here, right now I just have to leave and find out things on my own."

"What things?"

"Just... things... foolish things I have to go after and things... I need to know."

"Alright."

"Don't tell anyone else about this, and here will be my address for you to see me and VID me."

She left, like a wind that blew on the earth. Relena walked to her room, rushing past Heero like a thin swift of wind past him in the hall, she grabbed her duffel bag and packed small things she had. She put on her jean cotton jacket and swung her duffel bag over her shoulder and headed out.

Heero cam in just then, past the door as the others were at the dining room. "Relena where are you going?"

"Somewhere else."

"Relena, are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Hey Lena, where are you headed to?"

"To an apartment Duo."

"What why?" Wufiel stated, Relena then just shook her head and then turned to leave, suddenly a warm hand touched her shoulder, she knew it wasn't Heero's so she turned around. Trowa stood there with worried eyes and behind him was Quarte who always was worried about people. "Please tell us Relena, what's' wrong with you."

Relena didn't say anything, but she walked away. And before she closed the door behind her, she said, "Where my life ends."

With that she closed the door and left, just then Dr J came down the metal stairs. "Ah, I see you've come back."

Duo and Heero rushed to Dr J, "Where is Relena's going?" Heero hissed in a mean cold tone, this didn't bother Dr J since after all, he did train him to be like that. "To an apartment."

"Give me the address." Heero yelled.

Dr J smirked, "Why."

Heero grunted angrily and then left everyone, "Heero where are you going?" Wufiel asked.

"To find Relena."

"Then why not all of us come with you."

"No. It'll slow us down."

With that Heero left just like how Relena had. "Do you think we should follow him?" Duo said in a annoyed tone. "No, I think he wants to find some woman of his own." Wufiel said as he mumbled something about Relena being injustice.

*****************************************************

As Relena walked onto the stairs of her new apartment she sat on the bed.

As Heero walked through the streets of the cold night, Heero still could not find Relena or any trace of her.

**********************************************************

It has been 4 weeks since Relena had left and still none of the gundam pilots had found her, or yet, any trace. Heero would wake up at 3:00 in the morning and leave in search of her, and then come back to the base late in the mornings. They sat in the café on a winter afternoon, the air was cold and bite the skin badly to it's bone, it would make it bloom into dark life red. Heero sat there, looking out into the streets for any sign of Relena. She had hid herself from the world, no him, very well. He sat there, not even waiting for anything but a small glance at something of Relena then he would speed off, but nothing came...

"May I take your order?" A sweet voice said, Heero couldn't put anything onto it but he had heard that voice so... Heero looked up. There he met the eyes he drowned in every time he looked into them, those eyes who were full of so many things, love, joy, pain, suffer, sadness... everything. He meet the smile he longed for in all of his dreams. But what he saw was a girl, looking very young, about 19, her hair was the golden honey and was tied into a pony tail, she wore dim make-up, not loads, and she smelled of the roses that Relena would smell like. The girl in front of him had glossy lips.

He tired to opened his mouth and say her name but the girl in front of him sadden but it quickly was replaced with her smile.

"RELENA!"

Heero stood up and Duo had choked onto his burger he had just eaten.  Relena dropped her book and her eyes were wide. She took a step back and then Heero jumped and grabbed her wrist tightly.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" Relena went out of his wrist and jumped, she turned to meet a tall man with thick thick brown hair, his eyes were mad and mean. "Um, Max, I just... dropped my book and well... this guy thinks he knows me that's all!"

"WELL ELEN DON'T MAKE SUCH A BIG NOISE OUT OF IT! YOU ARE GOING TO BE FIRED IF I SEE THAT AGAIN! YOU HEAR!"

"Yes sir."

Max left. Relena sighed. "Elen?" She heard Wufiel said. Her hands balled up into tight fists. "Look, I don't know you and you don't know me, and another thing don't get me fired!" Relena lied.

She walked away.

Elen took off her apron and she went off, "Max I'm finish with my shift!"

Heero jolted right after her, she was walking through the garden, with her white tank-top and long jean pants. The snow was falling and the cold air wasn't biting her. Heero caught up with her, grabbing her and swinging her into his arms. "WHAT?"

"Come back! Relena, look at you!"

Relena wanted to get out and bad too. But she couldn't, something told her not too and she couldn't anyhow, his grip was way to strong.

Heero started to kiss her. Hard and it seemed like he was begging to explore her mouth, she gasped and he went in. She moaned as he kissed her more, twisting her lips as he did. Suddenly he stopped, Relena's tears slid down, they've been waiting, the tears had been waiting to fall since she had left and now they fell. "Heero, stop! You don't understand why I left! It was for good!"

Somehow anyway, Heero had gotten Relena to come back to the base, but crying as they walked to it.

"Relena! Great to see you!" Relena didn't look up to meet any gazes, she looked down, all the way down, no one could see her tears nor her eyes, all they knew was that she was upset and was searching for something and failed to do it.

"Relena..."

"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!" Relena ran out of the shoulder Heero had on her with his arm and ran up the metal stairs and into her room. She slammed to door hard. Heero could hear her cries did everyone else. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"

Or, "STOP IT! JUST STOP IT! I'M TRIED OF THIS, PLEASE STOP IT! NEO! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE!"

Heero and the others saddened. "Do you think that we should up there, Heero?" Quarte asked. Heero only shook his head but he knew that at least he should at least see her.

"Do you think that maybe it had effected her now?" Dr J whispered to himself.

"What?" Trowa said, not very calm but mad and worried.

"Well you see... Neo Death Angel had somehow caught a virus from having you being in it and being used by the STAR system. It could only be tested by one person, and at least it could handle at least 6, but somehow someone else planted this virus as Relena uses it from about a mile away or so."

Heero took a long slow breath in and then out slowly, "Then?" He asked in a harsh voice.

"It was active as RELENA USES IT! Then the virus somehow got into her blood and now is affecting her body greatly, and also she knows more then I do about this, so you will have to ask her about this. And as for Neo Death Angel, as soon as the virus was on Relena, Neo Death Angel has been fine. All there is, is that somehow a extra room appeared and no one seems to be able to get into it."

Heero couldn't meet anyone's gaze that moment, he turned and looked at Relena's door.

Duo had left to pick up Hilde that time since she was on the base and had called in that she was badly sick and was passed out. Duo had left Hilde because of his job and the training he had to do and Hilde did understand. Wufiel had told Sally that he would be needing training and Sally had told him he had a job on the colony anyway. Trowa told Catherine he was leaving but never told her where.

Quarte had a long 4 month vacation on the colony so he had nothing to worry about but he had already left. Relena had just left with Duo and her brother was in the colony somewhere.

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As the weeks pasted, Relena went into the gardens and said nothing, whenever you told her something, she'd have a far off look in her eyes and she would look at you like she had no soul and when you did look into her eyes, they mocked you and showed you nothing but emptiness.

As Relena woke up, she could feel dizziness flood her and coldness fill her body, inside and out. And her eyes seem like they have been crying, when she stood up it was only worst, she felt like she weighed a ton more then what she was suppose to, shelooked in the mirror and found that she had lost weight but how come she felt so heavy? She dressed in a tank-top and kept her blue boxers on, Relena's eyes begged for her to close them and her mouth was dry and she felt her head pounding and her heart race, she looked like she was drunk and her eyes were dizzy she would trip and fall and crash into walls. She felt a little bit better when she fell into the wall and bruised her arm, her eyes weren't too clear but at least she could make out things.

As Relena made her way down she did fall down a couple of steps and thanked god that no one saw her. She looked drunk and sick, real sick.

As Relena walked slowly to the living room to tell someone to call the doctor she tried to do that herself but couldn't she couldn't make out the numbers and seemed to forgotten everything about numbers.

"Relena are you okay?"

Relena tried to make out the figure who was coming towards her but she just couldn't so she guessed, "Trowa can you please call the..." She dropped.