CHAPTER VIII- In which Heero is assaulted, Duo is given a new mission, and Sally becomes a hard core feminist

A/N: As requested, some sweet HyxRP included at the end

Heero looked up at the person he was crushing, observing the beautiful hair that was spread out on the ground, the questioning green-blue eyes, and the delicate pink lips.

Their eyes locked, and slowly they're faces moved closer-

"YOU PERVERT!" Sylvia screamed from above, kicking him in his bruised ribs, "You were watching me last night!"

Heero groaned and rolled off of Relena, much to the dismay of both of them.

"What do you want?" he growled, picking himself off the ground and then helping Relena up.

She sucked in a furious breath when she realized to whom she was speaking, but her tongue still got the better of her, "You were in the tree outside the bathroom last night! You watched me-"

She turned a brilliant shade of red. And Heero looked uncomfortable.

Relena grinned at Heero's torment, "Now she'll either have to kill you or marry you."

In remembering her oath, Sylvia perked up some, "Which is it to be, Mr. Yuy?"

He suddenly looked dangerous. His eyes glinted, and his mouth twitched into a smirk, "I choose neither. I am merely here to protect Relena from terrorist threats. Not wanting to cause any upset in your family, I deemed it better if I was to do so without your knowledge."

His smirk broadened. When all else fails, use fancy words.

Sylvia creased her brow in confusion.

Relena's eyes were dancing with laughter, "So you were ogling me, instead?"

His mouth dropped open, "Yes! I mean…no…I wasn't looking at either of you!" Heero decided that now was the time to salvage his pride, "Besides, there isn't much to look at, is there?"

Relena's smile became fixed and feral, "Oh, you are going to regret that Heero Yuy."

The cruel smile returned to his face, "And just how are you going to do that?"

"I'm not as easy to spy on as you think. I've had plenty of experience avoiding it before, and I can do so again."

Sylvia looked over to Relena, "What about my revenge?"

Relena took her hand, "Now is not the time. But don't worry," she looked pointedly at Heero, "Revenge will come soon."

They stomped off. Heero looked smug for about three minutes before he realized what he had done. He began to track them again, praying the damage hadn't been done.

"So, these 'tests' are a way to see if we will be good mates?" Wufei was asking philosophically.

Duo nodded. Wufei was seated on a garden bench, and his braided friend was pacing, "You see, Wufie, they like to make sure that their lovers care for them. They're very cunning and like their men to go along with everything they say. Of course you can't go along with everything, but you can pretend."

Wufei nodded, "An intelligent counter attack."

"But women also want their men to be assertive and decisive. You have to watch out for that too."

Wufei stood up, "Duo, this is too confusing! Women are so stupid and weak! I swear, the best way to deal with them is to gag them and lock them up!"

Unfortunately for Wufei and Duo, the two women they were trying to understand had passed just in time to hear that last phrase.

Sally stepped into clear view, "Wufei Chang, what are you insinuating?!"

Duo smiled and pushed him forward, "Be confident and manly! Win her back!"

Wufei gave him a look and then yanked his collar, "Oh yes. Woman, you come with me. I'm sick and tired of this ridiculous game of hide-and-seek. My first wife was never so insistent on not listening to what I told her. All you want to be is a man. I'm afraid one of these days you may end up looking like one. It is for that reason that I believe-"

Sally pulled out her gun, "So help me, Wufei, stop ordering me around! Do you think I left you for some stupid test? I left because you pissed me off! 'Do this, woman,' 'Do that, woman.' I was only comforted by the fact that there was no other woman in the entire ESUN who would ever go out with you. Now I know why they couldn't put up with you, so scamper back to whatever hole you came from and leave me alone!"

Wufei glanced back at Duo, trying not to blush at his 'woman's' outburst, "Sally, you cannot fool me with your temptress ways. I know what's good for you so you'd better just-"

Sally fired her gun between his leg, right below a vital area.

"Don't tempt me, Chang."

Duo looked over to Hilde, ignoring his stuttering friend, "Hey, babe, how are you doing? I was wondering if you wouldn't mind going somewhere for us to talk-"

Hilde shook her head, "No way! How dare your friend treat my friend like that!" she laced an arm around Sally, "Come on, Sal, I'll get you away from these creeps."

Wufei hissed and put his hands on his waist. "Thanks to you and your 'tests,' we just lost both of our girlfriends."

Duo wasn't listening. He was considering ways to convince Hilde to talk with him. It looked like the only way for him to do that was to get Wufe and Sally back together.

He looked over at his selfish and sexist friend. Convince Wufei to be a caring and considerate man?

Lady Luck had obviously abandoned him.

Sylvia had gone ahead to make arrangements for dinner. Relena was rubbing her empty stomach solemnly. Heero darted out from the trees and whirled her around.

One hundred lunar credits was a lot of money. It couldn't end like that.

She looked at him angrily, "What?"

He winced. Not a good sign.

"Look, Relena, I only said that to get rid of Sylvia. You really are a lot to look at. I like looking at you. I just wanted to-"

She wasn't buying it. He was better with actions than words.

He kissed her.

She kissed back.

Sylvia had been opening the door to call Relena in. There was a smile on her face, and what she saw made it begin to fade away, "Relena," she said softly, "how could you?"

Relena's eyes popped open long enough to see Sylvia retreat to the house. She struggled out of Heero's arms.

"Fuck!"

Heero was, to say the least, confused. He had found the experience very pleasureable. It hurt him that Relena did not feel the same, "What is it?"

Relena looked up and him and bit her lower lip, "Sylvia saw us."

Heero stared at her, "So?"

"If I don't calm her down, she'll tell her parents!" she turned, but then looked back at him, "We'll finish this later, okay?"

Heero found himself very eager for that day to come, and his reasons had nothing to do with money.