CHAPTER IX- In which Duo plays matchmaker, Sylvia and Relena have a discussion, and the bathroom window is used again…

A/N: Thank you all for you wonderful reviews…Moonkitty purrs…please keep it up! I'd just like to explain to everyone why updates from here on in will not be as frequent as usual. This week is my last week at home before I leave for a summer art thing at CalArts in Southern California, where computer access will be very limited and classes will last from 8 AM to 10 PM. Moonkitty does not think she will be sleeping much. Anyway, This week I also have to finish (::ahem:: actually 'start') packing, but I should have at least one more chapter to ALL of my stories in process.

My trip will last from July 14^th to August 11^th, so gomen nasai!

Thank you all for your continued support! You guys rule!!!

Duo wandered through the mansion aimlessly. Thanks to his Preventer uniform he was never stopped or questioned and left to his own hurried thoughts. To get Wufei and Sally together, he would need to get Heero out of the way, but how? Heero only had one weakness, and Duo could not afford for Heero to become distracted with that weakness, because that would mean losing the bet.

Knowing Heero, they haven't even talked yet. He's too innocent to even try and touch her, Duo reassured himself.

He opened the next door, and found an antique blue-tiled bathroom. His eyes scanned over the bathtub, the large window, and then he turned away. If only I could get Hilde to take a bath in there. He sighed and moved on.

He paused with his hand on the handle to the next room. Loud voices were coming from within.

"You kissed him! How can it be an 'accident?!'" Sylvia was sobbing.

Duo grinned. Heero had competition? Who knew?

"Sylvia, he kissed me, and I think it was only out of…relief…that we met each other again."

"You were kissing the man who killed my grandfather and spied on me from a tree!"

The eavesdropper dropped his head. Heero had already kissed Relena. Duo was way behind in the game.

Obviously, Relena had had enough, because there was a slamming sound and an angry accusation tore through the air, "What are you jealous of, that I kissed a murderer, or that you wanted to be in my place?!"

The door flung open and Relena paused at the sight of Duo in the hall.

"Duo…um…hi," she said, a slight blush staining her cheeks.

He grinned," Yo, Jousan."

Sylvia looked out the door, "Agh! Relena! I can't believe you're cheating on Heero!"

She spun around, "What?!" Sylvia pointed at Duo, "This is just a friend, Sylvia!"

One of Sylvia's eyes twitched, "So, you admit to liking Heero and Heero only then?"

"No!" Relena sputtered, "I understand how you feel about him, Sylvia, I would never do that!"

Sylvia sniffed and slammed her door.

Duo smiled, "Family troubles so soon, Relena?"

She shrugged sheepishly.

He patted her shoulder, "I hear that there's nothing like a relaxing bath to soothe away mental stress."

She looked at him blankly and nodded, "Yes, I suppose you're right, Duo. That sounds like a good idea."

She gave him a distracted hug and wandered into her room. Duo smirked.

Score!

Duo held up a hand, "Please, not so many questions. The Love Guru cannot concentrate."

Wufei's jaw dropped. "What happened to 'Shinigami?'"

Duo sighed theatrically, "There is no God of Death involved in matters of love!" The braided boy pulled out a paper, "I have drawn out some key pointers for you, choice reactions in certain situations-"

Wufei scoffed at the paper, "Most of that material could be considered X-rated…I think you got a little too explicit, Duo."

Duo snatched the paper, stared at it and then tore it up, "Okay, so maybe I did, but you can't help a guy who's lost his girlfriend, can you? SO what if I fantasize…"

"About Sally?" Wufei said coldly.

"No, not really, just it in a broad sense. Calm down, man, I'm trying to help you."

The composed Chinese man pulled out his katana formally from his built. Duo wondered if perhaps his traditional Chinese garb was a little too snug. That could explain the attitude. His first step would be to drag him out and get him some new-

"I will defend the honor of Major Sally Po! Choose your weapon, Duo Maxwell!"

The other boy grinned, "Words."

"Words?! Those are not a proper weapon!"

'They are if I say they are. Look, Wufei, if you want Sally back, you are going to need my help."

Wufei lifted the katana over his head, "If it weren't for you I wouldn't have lost her in the first place!"

Duo smiled smugly, "Oh, yes you would have."

"Oh, no I wouldn't have."

Duo stopped, "I'm not going to get stuck on that childish and cliché cycle of words."

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Yes!"

"No!"

"So you don't want me to continue on with this cycle?"

"Exactly!"

"Okay."

They were both silent. Suddenly, Wufei rose a shaking finger to Duo, "You tricked me!"

"I told you words were my weapons."

"Stupid American baka."*

"Delusional Chinese prick."**

"So, are we going shopping or not?" Wufei said suddenly.

"Sure." Duo replied, "But I have to make another stop first."

Heero was napping in their newly reestablished base camp. Duo grinned at this, he's obviously worn out from showing so much emotion. So, the boy in priest's clothing crept over, waiting for Heero to sit up and pull a gun on him.

It happened when he was about six feet away, "Don't even think about It, Duo."

"About what?"

"Trying to shock me."

"Oh, that?" Duo asked innocently, "Why would I want to do that?"

"Just don't, you baka."

Actually," Duo said in a wounded voice, while secretly adjusting his feet to get a better grip on the ground, "I wanted to invite you to watch Relena with me." Duo smirked, "She's going to take a bath….mmm-hmmm…on that second floor bathroom with the big window…"

Heero's eyes turned steely and dangerous, "This is not a peep show, Duo, don't you dare think about Relena like that-"

He lunged forward. Duo darted away.

There were only three things at which Duo was superior to Heero, the first was piloting a shuttle, the second was running away, and the third was purely a matter of opinion.

Heero sighed. Now he would have to endure the ghastly torture of guarding Relena personally from Duo.

He quickly decided that there have been worst missions.

Relena was staring at the window of the bathroom with and intelligent air. Yes, she decided, there's only one way to solve this problem.

Heero pulled himself up unto the branch of the tree that he had climbed before. Relena wasn't there yet. Certain that the foliage of the sequoia would hide him, he nestled into a comfortable position and kept a sharp eye out for Duo Bundle -of-hormones Maxwell.

Relena returned in a short blue terry robe that Heero found fascinating. He grinned as he imagined her without it. She shook out a white sheet (what was she doing with a sheet) and leaned over to one corner of the window. The movement opened the robe slightly, giving Heero a view of the tops of her breasts.

Where was Maxwell?

She repeated the process for the other corner and shook the sheet one last time. Heero sighed. She had made a curtain. A white curtain that still displayed silhouettes.

He looked around, but there was no sign of Duo. That dirty little creep was forcing him to sit through this-

Relena shrugged out of the robe.

Heero completely forgot why he was there.

His eyes widened as she lowered herself into the bath.

Duo would die later.

Duo dragged Wufei into the guardroom where Hilde and Sally were seated sipping coffee.

They both dropped their mugs.

Wufei was wearing his Preventer jump suit with the jacket off and hanging at his waist. He was wearing a tight fitting T-shirt and combat boots. The style was lazy and intriguing.

Sally reminded herself not to drool.

Duo winked at him and Wufei walked forward, "Sally, would you mind terribly if you went out with me for a date?"

Sally was to brain numbe to say anything.

Hilde was looking up at Duo with shining eyes, "Duo, that was so sweet of you to help him out!"

Double Score!

Next time in 'The Ward:' Duo gets his talk, Wufei gets his date, and Heero decides it's time he saw Relena again. But what will Sylvia do about this alarming situation?