Standard Disclaimers apply: All the characters in this story belongs to Sun Rise and other companies (not including Mark who is MINE). I do not own Gundam Wing in any way, but this story does, so DON'T COPY. That's plagiarism and illegal. This story is plainly for the reader's enjoyment.

Notes
(           ) - means my thoughts or comments
*          * - means a subconsious level of thinking (more emotional)
words in italics - mean a conscious level of thinking (more logical)


Wings of A Dove

Chapter 12: Accept who You are
By: Pixie^A^
Rated: PG-13

            Have you ever felt like you were floating on the surface of the water, yet still drowning? It's like being weightless, where there is no up or down, all within a box. So small is the box that you feel the sides always, pushing down and around you. If there is such a place, I was there. Drowning and not a single soul could hear. Why would they even bother? I had ran away from them. Even though they lied I was the one to run away. So angry that my emotions blocked out all logic. Behaving like that pathetic little girl from my youth, who acted on impulsive feelings rather than well thought out solutions. Perhaps they really had a good reason, but I will probably never hear of it. It's all my fault.

            These thoughts swam around Relena's mind, trapped inside just as she felt trapped in this cage. Fear encircled her, gripping her.

            "HEERO!! MIILLLARRDO!! NOIN!! ANYONE!!" She cried before she realised what she said. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If they could hear, would they even come? Funny Relena wrapped her arms around her legs and tucked her head between her knees. I don't care what they did. All I want is to have their friendship again. I'm sorry for being like this. Please. If the Gods were listening, they didn't show it.

            Relena shook her head, trembling. The thick substance that seemed to surround her seemed to be stretching, warping to something that was pulling it. What's going on?! Relena eyes rounded with terror. Suddenly the substance dug inward, grabbing her arm. She screamed, trying to bat away the figures that pierced the bubble. As things weren't bad enough, horrible sickening noises were emitted around her.

            "HELP ME!! Please ANYONE!" Relena cried. Still no luck, should she be surprised? "No, no, no" She whimpered. It was useless. Slowly Relena stopped fighting the piercing things that tried to grab her. She closed her eyes tightly and cuddled herself together. She plugged her ears tightly and tried just tried to block everything out .

            Yet the sound still remained, as the gripping intruders. Abruptly, she realised why she still heard the noises so clearly even with her fingers shoved deeply in her ears. The sounds weren't only coming through her ears, yet into her mind as well. It rang in her head and with it came a coaxing comforting feeling as the "hands" that gripped her seemed to soften so that it felt more like a touch then a grip.

Leeeeeeeeearrrrrrrrrn                               tttttttttttttto
                    acccccccceppt                                             hoooooooow         thiiiiiiiiiiiinggggsss
                                    aaaaaaaaaaarrreeeeeee

            Relena hands loosened ever so slightly as her arms dropped to her sides. What on earth is going on? She tried to make out the blurry images outside. Large, dark, forms that seemed to glow with an internal light.

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            The Doctor began to tremble. From his position, he knew what Shadow was going to do. Not only that, but the timer To the rope that held Relena Peacecraft, Foreign Minister. How much longer did she have before the timer went off and plunged her into the pit? Just hearing the horrible sounds those creatures were making was enough to make anyone tremble. Yet with his black collar, he was useless. He couldn't even step close to the crane before his collar went off. Even if he reached it, he would have to climb all the way up and Doctor O shook his head and turned his eyes back to the combat, to Heero. "Come on Heero, come on." So much is depends on you including the lives of millions!

            Heero watched warily as Shadow looked at him through the veil of his blond hair, blood dripping down his chin in little rivulets. Suddenly, Heero's eyes widened as Shadow opened his mouth and licked the red droplets around his face perhaps that wasn't weird. But how his tongue had grown thin, and split into two parts, that was weird. What the f*ck is going on? Something in his mind was set off, as warning engulfed his body. Slowly he felt his body tense.

            Shadow grinned as he pushed himself up so that he was on his knees, making him the height of Heero's shoulders. This so-called Perfect Soldier was better than what he had previously thought, but that didn't matter. It was time to lay down all the cards.

            He could feel his spine ache to grow - to stretch as his legs wished to liquefy. Slowly he complied, grinning evilly. Gradually before Heero's eyes, his legs melded into one long yellow tail. Hair fell to the ground as faint yellow scales tipped with orange replaced it. The scales climbed up his back while there was a distinct feeling of skin stretching along his face. Shadow's arms shrank, losing half of its size as the excess mass seemed to travel to his thickening neck and body. The skin around his neck fanned out from his face to the base of his neck. All his clothes were ripped apart, aside from his black cloak.

            **Rattle**

            "Welllll. Let'ssss sssee how good a ssssssport you arrrrre."

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            Heero blinked and what he saw just didn't compute. Shadow had turned into a cobra. A yellow snake with bloody red eyes. He no longer had legs, just one long rattling tail. His arms had shrunk and his face had stretched, with a slithering skinny tongue that split just at the tip. His neck had fanned out, like a shield across his face, like most cobras. He was a mutant if such things existed. They do now

            "Yoooooooou ssseeeeeem ssspeechhhhhhlessssssss." The Shadow chuckled darkly "I ammmmm the futurrree, the evolution of mmann. The worrrrld is changing and thhhhee patttttthhhhhetiic huuumaaan rrrrace mussst adapt to sssurvive. I ammm the future!! I ammm the new worrrrld of rrrrrrevolution to the forrrrevverr changing worrrlld. Ssssoooo, what do you thinkkkk of mmmmeeeee?!!!"

            Heero crossed his arms. "You're a freak the world changes, it's true. Yet no one forces it on people, like what you did to all those monsters there (*points to the pit*) or on Relena. In that manner you are a freak."

            Shadow grinned evilly. "Whhhho arrrre yooou to sayyyy I ammmm a freeeeeakkk? Whhhhatttt abooooout youuuu? Arrrrrrre youuu not alssssssso a frrrrreak?! You'rrrrrrrre a wrrrrrrrapped hummmman, chaaaaaaanged intoo the Perrrrrfect Sssssssssoldier of no emmmmmmoootionssss. Arrrrre youuuu not jussssst anooooother maaaaachiiiiine wiiith a beeeaaaaating hearrrrrrrt? Youuuu disssgrrrrace the hummaaan rrrrace if youuu darrrre call yourrrrssssself that. Of courrssse youuu and I knnnooow betterrrr than thaaat. Youuu can'ttt even be a killlling machineeee as youuu arrre actually MORRRRE pathetic than a machineeee. If the machineeee brrreaks youuuu can at leassst sssssell the parrrrtsss, but with youuu? Youu'rrrrre jussst junk," Shadow tilted his head to the side, slithering his tongue at Heero. "Aaand weeee still haven't decciiide whatt youuuu actuallllly arre Therrrre rrrrreally issssss only one opinion, frrrrreak. Though youuuu don't evennn dessssserrrrve that name frrrreak. I might be a frrrrreak, but at leassssst I know wherrrrre I sssssssssssstand. Do youuuuuu?" Shadow taunted with an evil look in his eyes.

            Heero bit his lip until it bleed. What he is saying doesn't mean anything Why should I care? I never cared before. It's just a bunch of stupid words Yet he felt doubt in himself and for once, the Perfect Soldier paused and it cost him the first leap.

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            Doctor O looked in terror back and forth from the distant battle to the unconscious Relena. His hands were shaking and moist with worry. If he was as white as a sheet, he wouldn't be surprised. Call him stupid, but he was more worried about Relena then anything else. The Doctor shook his head, he could understand why the people loved her so much. Images of Relena smiling to him, just to him. Like nothing in the world mattered more than understand him and his feelings. She was famous for her will to fight, yet in her present state, she was helpless.

            He remembered clearly how Lord Shadow always made him explain stuff about the splicing to him, but never really paid attention. This unnerved him greatly, but Relena? Never.

            Suddenly the Doctor heard a soft moan. Relena? His eyes were swiftly pulled away from the pit to Relena's still form. Another soft moan was emitted from her. The reaction from the pit was astounding.

            Each "creature", growled, moaned back. Gruesome sounds, as they tried to reach her tongues hanging from their mouths, drooling heavily. What's going on? The Doctor froze as he had just saw the obvious response of Relena's action.

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            Heero winced as his head hit the ground hard. A growl emerged from him as he quickly rolled to his side, hearing the loud slap on the ground of where he had laid. His tail was acting like a whip.

            Heero rolled to his knees and reached for his gun. Sh*t He had forgotten. What on earth was he suppose to kill this monster with in that thick hide? Something grabbed him by the ankle and pulled, knocking him off balance again. Heero hit the ground feeling a sharp jab at his side. Stone no doubt. Heero felt himself being dragged along the rough ground, that obviously pleased Shadow.

            Shadow slithered as he wrapped his body around Heero's and began to squeeze tightly. There were so many ways to DIE, it was hard to pick just one.

            "Ssssssoooo... Perrrfect Sssssoldier. Do youu want to knnnow whyy I did ittt? Why I f*ckinggg changged Rrrrrelena? Becausssseee, assss long assss sssshe was the people'sss main sssymbol. they would neverrrrr agrrrrree to thissss new worrrrld." He spat.

            "They never will!" Heero threw back angerily, feeling more pathetic than he ever felt before as the muscle clamped tightly on him. He had to get free!

            "Ffffoool!!! Youuu'llll neverrrr trrrrully underrrrsssstand my geniussssss!!! I have taken awayyy theirrrr sssymbol. Changed it theirrrrr ssssymbol hassss changed, dead or aliveeee. When ssssymbolsss die, people expect changggeee! Thrrrrrrougggh ouuut hissssstorry, thisssss hassss beeeeen sssshowwwen, takke theee deeeatttth of Queeeeen Elizaaabeth. Asss forrr Rrrelena, no matterrrr if ssssshe diess today orrrr notttt, I sssstillll get my way. No matterrrr what happensssss, I willll get my wayyy!!!!!" Shadow lifted his shortened arms in victory.

            Not today Heero, lifted his left hand up and brought it swiftly down Shadow's main stomach like lightening, not pausing to see the effects of this. Good, his other hand was now free. His right hand entered at the base of Shadow's throat and came upward, knocking the breath out of him.

            "Calllll meee FRRRREAKK wiiilll you?!" Shadow cried out, though Heero sensed it was not only to him but to everyone in the world. "Whhhen evolllluttion commessss whooo willl be the FRRRREAK, huh?!!"

            Ignoring the screams, Heero's feet kicked at Shadow's body, as he brought his two hands together making a fist and struck Shadow's face. Shadow finally cried out and backed away. Yet he didn't stop what if that monster was faking? Crouching like a tiger, he sprang upon his prey, tackling him.

            The two bodies rolled along the grass, switching yellow, green, yellow, green. At one point, Shadow bit Heero's arm horribly, piercing the skin. Heero growled as blood exploded in Shadow's mouth. Heero kicked at Shadow, trying to get his arms around Shadow's mouth

            "Watch OUT!!!"

            Heero was suddenly aware of something cool, long and sharp along his back like a sharp thread that ran down his back and leg. Abruptly he reacted. He let go of Shadow, and grabbed the sharp thread. It wasn't a thread at all

            They had rolled to the pit.

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                                                            Accept life

            Huh? I don't understand, what are you trying to get at? She asked. No longer she tried to block away the noises once she realised they're meanings were actually calming and clear, though there sounds coming to her ears were not. Yet where exactly where the noises coming from? It was from more then just dark, large shadows.

                                                                                                Accept death

            Something growled. Calling her. Telling her something. She understood the words, but what was the true meaning behind this?!

            Accept chaos and order

            So, I need to accept these things? I admit I don't accept death nor chaos well, but Relena was interrupted by another growl.

                                                And most importantly, accept who you are and what you are not.

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            Heero found himself clinging on to the edge with 4 fingertips and slipping. His other hand held Shadow's short lengthen hand. Heero looked passed Shadow's wide frightened eyes and paled slightly himself.

            The monsters had taken noticed of these two bodies and had moved over beneath their bodies, growling and clawing at them. Some tried to climb on top of each other for a better reach. All had their tongues out with dripping saliva, a wild look in their eyes. Heero felt the hunger and insanity in the eyes of these creatures and it seemed that even Shadow felt that.

            His eyes were wide as he looked down at what he had created, and he felt fear. The monsters reached up, only inches from reaching him.

            "Don'tttt letttt gooooo of meeeeeeeeee!!!!"

            Heero looked at the impossible situation. He was hanging by a few fingertips, slipping; holding onto his enemy who was asking him to hold onto him. DROP HIM! the Perfect Soldier cried. He's the ENEMY!! Logic cried. You'll both fall if you don't!!

            *And just prove once again that you are as heartless.*

            Heero froze. No. He didn't want that. Not more proof. Every time he did, Relena would look at him and say sorry, for her incompetence for keeping peace. An image of Relena with her head hanging low with guilt filled his head. No. No more. When he was done his job, she wouldn't have a single doubt left in her mind.

            "Hold on" Heero gritted through his teeth. Yet as soon as the words lift his mouth, did a creature from the pit, take on mighty leap and bit hard on Shadow's tail. Shadow's eyes went wide as he loosened his grip on Heero and fell. Heero eyes grew round as he saw Shadow, his cloak and the controller in his pocket fall into the pit. The controller for the black collars and Relena. RELENA!!

            "NOOOO!!"

            "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            *Thud*

            Heero looked away as he heard the screams that no one would ever be able to forget their entire lives. Suddenly something splattered against his leg. Warm, sticky blood.

            **Crunch**

            Bones Heero clamped his eyes shut.

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            Sally awaited her fate. Eyes closed, fingers loose on the controls. If she had to die in battle, this was the way she would have chosen.

            "AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

            Huh? She creaked open an eye. The Caprias froze, their pilots yelling in pain and shock. Then there was silence.

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            Heero slowly pulled himself out of the pit feeling liked he had died. That the piece of humanity he had tried to secretly construct had shattered once again. Broken like glass. So what Relena said about peace being glass was true. That didn't matter now.

            "HEERO!!" Heero didn't raise his head as the Doctor ran up to him in jubilee. "The collars!!! The collars broke off!! I'm free. All the soldiers are free!!! We don't have to fight any more!!"

            Don't have to fight any more? Lies. There was always a fight to battle always a war to wage. It was in human nature to fight. The world grew cold and dark as Heero bent his head in sorrow. He lost the control to Relena. He lost the controller, and control of his heart and his emotions.

            Suddenly the world disappeared into a void of blackness and solitude. Darkness plagued his thoughts as he drowned in the darkness. Towed away be the current of misery, to the place where souls never rested. Uncompleted and hollow forever... lost in Limbo. Just like he had always been.

            "HEERO!! Snap out of it, you can still save her!!"

            "What?" He croaked as he looked up to the Doctor weakly, trying to find some hope? He was ready to cling on to anything right now.

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            How did I know I'm not sure, but looking at him I knew. Never had I ever seen someone's need be shown so clearly that it seemed to shout out. Relena. He needed Relena.

            "HEERO!! Snap out of it, you can still save her!!"

            "What?" he croaked back, looking up at me for the first time. His Prussian blue eyes swirled with emotion.

            Like an open book. A soldier's emotions being an open book. Was this possible? Especially from the famous Perfect Soldier? What did this to him? What changed him?

            "We'll have to hurry though!!" I commanded him, running to the crane. "We have only a few minutes before the timer goes off if it's still in one piece. Hurry!!"

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            Dorothy's jaw dropped and hit the floor as ALL of the enemy Caprias froze and their pilots walked out peacefully. Hands up.

            "What the--"

            "Close that mouth, Frosty. You're not a cod fish." laughed Duo from the telecom.

            "D-U-O!!" she warned.

            "Ok, ok." a surrendering voice responded.

            "What happen though? Why are they surrendering? What about the Black Collars?" Quatre squinted at the men from the Caprias.

            "I believe they're gone."

            "But how--"

            "Um... DUH! Heeroooooo" CLANG!!

            "Hilde, watch it! This is expensive gundamium."

            "Baka" came the sigh as a very tired pilot began to massage her building headache.

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            "You need to climb up the crane and pull the rope hook around her hands to me. I'll tie it to the bottom of the crane so when the timer goes off, she won't fall in. Then we'll need to pull her up--" The Doctor frowned as Heero raced ahead to the crane, ignoring anything else he said.

            "Boys" he muttered, running as fast as his old legs would take him.

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            I still have a chance to prove myself. Heero breathed deeply as he reached the crane. Looking quickly around, he saw a long thick rope. Extra rope for the crane. Prefect. Expertly he hooked the rope around his waist.

            "Be careful Heero" the Doctor warned.

            Careful? There was many meanings of careful. The one Dr. J gave him when he picked up a new mission, or the another kind of careful, where emotions were concerned. Emotions weren't concerned unless it included Relena. God, strike him down if anyone heard him admitting it.

            "Thanks" he said gruffly as he began his climb. As quickly as possible, he climbed up like a spider, fitting a foot in the crossing of two metal bars or gripping the rough surface of the crane with his paining hands. The strain in his neck protested loudly as he looked up. Mount Everest felt smaller at the moment.

            "Hold on Relena" He muttered under a soft pant. He finally crept across the horizontal bar of the crane that held Relena up. The growls from the pit were of no help.

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            "Hold on Relena"

            Heero? The sound of growls grew louder. Relena frowned. Accept who I am and what I am not?

            YES

            Yet who am I really? Am I Relena Peacecraft? Or Dorlian? Or someone completely different? And what does it mean to be Dorlian if that is truly who I am? And what was the point of this? These endless questions that had no answer.

                     It's        going      to           be                       fineeee
You                                   will                                                                                               seeeeeee

            Relena frowned in confusion. What?!! her mind screamed back.

                     Learn to    accept                      how           things           areeeeeee
                        Accept life                                                         Accept death                     Accept chaos and order
                                    And most importantly, accept who you are and what you are not.

            Suddenly Relena felt a lightening of the air around her. Abruptly there was a momentary tightening inside her gut before she felt herself falling.

            NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!!!!