AN: This is a poem Fic. basically a song Fic, but with a poem instead. I probably need to do the whole disclaimer thing. The fact is I don't own gundam wing, never have, probably never will, and I am by no way making any money from this (or any of my other stories). There now that that's done I would like to say the poem 'Crystalline Teardrops' is mine. I own it so if you want it ask to use it!

Relena nodded as Pagan gave her a small envelope. She carried the small package to her desk and sat down with a plop and a sigh. This had been another bad day, just like every other day. She wished feverently for a break, but she knew that she wouldn't get one. She looked into the small mirror propped on her desk and noticed the dark circles under her eyes. The face she wore now was not the same one she put on for functions or meetings. It was the real one that very few people saw. One that showed that Prime Minister Dorlian was not all smiles and hope. That sometimes she got tired and sad too...

She picked up the envelope she had neglected to read and cut it open carefully. Tipping it over she grasped the small note that came out of it. She flattened the small paper and peered at the small print...

Miss Relena Dorlian

I'm sorry to inform you that a Mr. Heero Yuy has been missing for a time period of 8 months and we have validated cause to believe that he is dead.

With Deep Regret,
Lady Une

Relena blinked and read it again... She crumpled the small piece of paper and flung it across the room. 'I won't believe it,' she promised herself. But even as she told her self that small tears worked their way down her face. She began to shake. In a mix of anger and uncontrollable sadness she flung on her jacket and ran through the house and out the door.

Crystalline Teardrops running down my face

She ran into the front yard still crying and started to run through the front lawn. She just needed to run, to get out of that place. She noticed people staring at her in disbelief. They were all looking at The Prime Minister crying, not the 16 year old Relena crying. They all saw the world leader giving into to weakness, not the teenager greatly disturbed at the cruel hand she'd been dealt. And she hated them for it. She ran harder and faster trying to get away. They all were still staring though, still looking for the smile and hope she had always brought them.

If your looking for my hope, it's gone without a trace

Relena was trying to think of any one she could possibly share this news with. Anyone who would understand why she was so sad...

Looking for someone with whom I can share my pain

The first faces that she came to were that of the gundam pilots and their girl friends. They had all scattered to their beginnings, taking care of things that had been put off, such as Quatro's new business, and Duo's mechanic shop. Or they had joined the preventers like Trowa, and Wufei. Or they had just disappeared like Heero and Zechs. And now Heero was gone, and she was feeling more alone then ever before. 'Even though you weren't here Heero, it was at least some comfort knowing that at least you were alive. I never even got to say goodbye to you, and now I never will...'

But my search is proving to have been made in vain

She gulped down a fresh set of tears and slowed her pace to a walk. She noticed for the first time that it was sunny out side. She scowled at the sky, 'It's not fair that you can look so good on a day like this,' she told the sky silently.

Even though the sun is shining brightly down on me

Her chest ached with the withheld sobs. Her eyes burned as she whiped away another stray tear. She felt so alone. She sat down at a park bench and doubled over with inheld pain. She wouldn't...couldn't cry again. She had to hold on. 'But it hurts so much' she thought sobbing slightly. Tears worked their way into her eyes threatening to spill over.

In my heart it's raining, and Crystalline Teardrops is all I see

She got up slowly and unsteadily; she worked her way to the trashcan next to her. She retched into it, feeling sicker then she had ever felt before. The turmoil in her stomach made her dizzy, and the cold sweat dripping down her face blurred her vision and mixed with the tears. She almost fell over with emotional fatigue. She realized that she better get home before some one saw her. 'The last thing I need is some one from the press seeing me like this.'

She shook her head in complete disgust as she realized it took a lot of effort to stand. She walked slowly towards the sidewalk trying to see through the tears and sweat. She wobbled every few steps and stopped frequently to gather her bearings. She made her way back on the long sidewalk until she reached her house gate.

Her hands were unwilling to cooperate with her wishes. The key she was trying to put into the lock kept dropping from her shaking fingers. 'Work you piece of shit!' she felt like screaming. She managed to open the gate and walk through the lawn. When she reached the steps she opened her door and walked into the hallway.

She shoved past two giggly maids and ignored their glares directed at her. They talked loudly as if she couldn't hear them.

"Oh my god was that Relena?" asked the first of the two.

"Yeah and did you get a good look at her I think she was crying!" the other exclaimed. Relena ran up the stairs and into the long hallway she didn't stop until she reached her room. She flung open her door and once inside she slammed it shut and locked it.

I hide inside my room for fear they'll see my face

Relena tried unsuccessfully to block out the noise below her. The two maids were still chattering VERY loudly. Loud enough so she could hear their every word.

"She is such a strong person never would've guessed she would cry," the first said.

"Yeah and in broad day light, for heavens sakes," they second said.

There is no room for Crystalline Teardrops in this horrid place

"She was bawling like a baby," one said laughing this time. The other laughed too. Relena put a pillow over her head trying to block out the laughter.

Crying is for babies, or that's what they tell me

One question poked at her mind. 'Why am I still here? What is left for me?' She got up off her bed, the answer to her problems seemed so clear at the moment. She would run away from everything. It seemed every one else had, why couldn't she? 'I'll leave and I'll never come back,' she told herself.

But my Crystalline Teardrops have helped me see clearly

'I'll never make it anywhere, everyone knows who I am,' the thought struck her like lightening. She had one other choice... but it was horrible. She couldn't quite drive it out of her mind though. 'If I kill myself who will really and truly miss me?'

There is nothing to gain
From all this hurt and pain

She walked almost zombie like towards her desk. She starred at the letter opener that lay there with a distant gaze. She picked it up and examined it's razor like edge. She looked at her wrist and then back at the letter opener. 'This will only hurt for awhile, then all the pain will be gone,' she told herself. She closed her eyes as the blade neared her wrist. She popped them back open. 'Pain killers,' she thought suddenly. She walked into her bathroom and pulled out a bottle of Aspirin. She popped 10 into her mouth and waited for a half an hour until a warm dizzy feeling encircled her body.

So I stop my Crystalline Teardrops from running down my face

She then walked over to her desk once again and took the letter opener. She encircled her grasp firmly around it and with one swipe slit her wrist. She watched almost dazed as blood dripped down her arm and onto her floor. All the sudden a warm breeze hit her face and she looked up to meet to eyes of a very scared boy. Heero hesitated but only for a second. In an instant he was by her side holding her up.

And I keep them hidden in a secret place

"Are you insane?" he asked her looking at her with absolute rage.

"I thought...I thought you were dead..." Relena trailed off as she began to get more dizzy. Heero lifted her up and put her on the bed. He held her wrist and looked at the cut.

"It's not deep enough to kill you," he said simply. Taking off his jacket he flung it across the room. He took off towards the bathroom in search of a bandage. He came back holding a roll of gauze and scissors. He worked fastly and diligently at her wound until it was completely bandaged.

"Please just let me die," Relena said looking at him.

"You're not going to die," Heero said not looking up.

"Heero why did you save me?" Relena asked trying to make sense of this. The drugs had fogged her mind and she wasn't even registering the fact that he was really alive. She faded slowly into a dreamless sleep.

When Relena woke back up she had to think for a minute as to why there was a bandage on her arm. She tried to sit up but her head was pounding. Then she noticed the shadow of a person in the corner of the room. 'He stayed with me the whole night,' she thought amazed. Her next thought was 'Oh my god I almost killed myself last night!'

Because knowing me...

She put her hand towards head and squeezed her eyes shut as a sharp pain jarred her senses. The slight movement how ever was enough so that when she opened her eyes again they met another pair. Heero was glaring at her accusingly. Relena's face flushed a bright red, 'How could I ever do that? Why did I even want to? Oh yeah...' Relena tried to sit up in bed and achieved it with very little pain.

"Why did you come here last night?" Relena asked him.
"Prime Minister Dorlian should not be seen crying in a park without body guards. If I was a assassin you'd have been dead." Heero said it so coldly it made Relena shiver.

"..." Relena opened her mouth to speak but she didn't have anything to say to that. He had been an assassin after her life at one point.

"Why were you crying?" Heero asked. Relena looked taken aback. 'How do you tell a person you were crying because you thought they were dead?'

"I-I got a letter saying y-you were d-dead..." Relena said. Now it was Heero's turn to look taken aback. "And now that your alive...Heero, I can't take that again. Not having said...this, before you leave. Heero I think I love you. I mean I almost... well you saw, you were there. But Heero I almost did, and if I had... I just can't take it... Not knowing where you are...not knowing if you'll come back... Heero, I don't expect you to make any sort of commitment I just wanted to say that...I know you probably don't feel that way about me but I just had to tell you..." Relena managed to let that all come out in short rushes followed by long pauses. She wasn't even sure if he caught a word of it...never mind the look on his face told her he did.

"Oh..." Heero was a very interesting person to watch when he was at lost as to what to say. Which was most of the time he was around Relena. His face interchanged between that of an impenetrable mask and a face or utter confusion. Relena was certainly watching with interest for a response any way. "I'll keep you informed of my wear-abouts."

"Thank you that's all I ask, Well not exactly 'all'. Heero do you hate me? Please I just have to know..." Tears worked their way back towards her eyes she shoved them down into the pit of her stomach.

Some day I'll need my Crystalline Teardrops to see everything clearly

"No, I mean... you mean so much to the whole world. You symbolize everything everyone fought for."

"I know what the 'world' thinks of me. Heero I was asking what you think of me. I was asking what you, Mr. Heero Yuy the Perfect Solider, thinks of me, Relena Dorlian." Relena said crossing her arms and flinching as she tapped the bandage that covered her right wrist.

"Relena I think I... I think I love you...but..." Heero said his hands moving to his head as if he had a headache.

"..." Relena once again found herself speechless. She got up off her bed and walked over to Heero. She gently embraced him in a hug. She guided him as if he were a child to the bed, and sat down next to him. Heero was still curled up inside himself as he sat there, Relena noticed this and smiled gently. There was so much healing to be done, and hopefully just enough time to do it in. And perhaps they could do it together.

My Crystalline Teardrops are so dear to me

The End

AN: O.K. there it is, my first poem fiction. Now that that's done I would like to say that even though this is the what...5th? Fan-fic I've written and submitted I've had zero feed back. I personally don't care if you just write me saying 'You suck' I just want mail. I just want to know if anyone is even bothering to read these because if not why am I even bothering to write them?
My email address is traciesmail@earthlink.net.

This is the full copy of my poem Crystalline Teardrops.

Crystalline Teardrops

Crystalline Teardrops running down my face
If you're looking for my hope it's gone without a trace
Looking for someone with whom I can share my pain
But my search is proving to have been made in vain
Even though the sun is shining brightly down on me
In my heart it's raining, Crystalline Teardrops are all I see
I hide inside my room for fear they'll see my face
There is no room for Crystalline Teardrops in this horrid place
Crying is for babies, or that's what they tell me
But my Crystalline Teardrops have helped me see clearly
There's nothing to gain
From all this hurt and pain
So I stop my Crystalline Teardrops from running down my face
And keep them hidden in a secret place
Because knowing me...
Someday I'll need them to see every thing clearly
My Crystalline Teardrops are so dear to me

*Owari*