AN: This is really depressing, angsty, and sinister, I needed to warn you. But it does make you think. Please give me your opinions. Thanks.

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings.

It's done now, I can finally say without guilty mind or conscience, "Mission.... Complete." Oh how this one simple task has haunted me for years... but tonight the time was right, for I will be plagued by these appalling nightmares no more. She's gone, and never shall her purity of hallow grace have to touch the soiled ground of this world stained with blood... the blood from all of those I killed.

<Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?>

No, not for myself, but for her and her alone I murdered and became even more merciless as after each and every death at my already wounded hands, for I needed to show her how dispassionate mankind has become, that she may want to leave this torturous existence on her own. But no... no she never gave up, not on me. That's why she kept fighting, fighting for an impossible dream.

<Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?>

What choice had I? If she was to be foolish and believe that she could hold all of humanity upon her shoulders, keep it from falling into the desperate grasp of the Slave of Darkness, then I would have to strike her down, that those delicate yet valiant shoulders could fall limp and drift into a long deserved repose of blissful virtue.

<I must be strong and carry on,>
<'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.>

It's not righteous that her destiny was to hold for her a life of lost heart, one so beautiful and full of fondling innocence should have been consecrated among the angels at God's hands. Everything that passes through my mind is true... she has gone home now.

This poor, immaculate maiden that lies before me, painted in the warming crimson of her own breathless waters, loved me. How could she? She saved me more times than she will ever know... never once in bodily kinesthetic, but in emotional phantasm.

<Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?>
<Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?>

Always was she in my mind, beckoning me to return to her bosom of rose-hued love, holding me within her arms of borrowed strength to brush across my forehead her chaste lips of unforgotten, never-ending intimacy. But each time her eyes softened, filled with that sparkle and essence of divine affection, I pushed her away. Her devotion is just too much for a cowering soul as I to bear within his heart... if it can be said that I posses one.

<I'll find my way through night and day,>
<'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.>

One thing, and the only one which I can say in my defense is that nothing has been taken from me... I lost it at my own hand. I've heard people say that have known me, that "They" took my sentiments and hunger for tenderness away from me. They know nothing of what they speak. It is true that I once cared for life and the contentment within another's heart, but after so long of being isolated from human sight or touch, I decided that it wasn't necessary anymore. I am an animal, a beast that was born upon this offspring of the Mother Earth to kill and annihilate anything, man or machine, that threatened my territory... myself. I accepted that cruel fate long ago, and never looked back... until she came. Damn you Relena! Everything I've worked to vanquish from my being, everything I have perished from my memory, you have brought back into full bloom. And yet, I can do nothing but offer my humblest thanks to you for this new beginning... that I am to waste at your hands, a mockery of the man you once held so dear... the man I used to be.

Still, I now realize that no matter how hard I would have tried, I could never have gotten rid of my yearning to love. I have come to the conclusion, after long and grueling thought, that as long as one has the ability to dream, then they cannot be without feeling. God gave us, his most precious of children, the gift to dream and create miraculous fantasies of what meaning, what worth or lives should hold, and being such a generous bequest, no human, especially oneself, has the power nor the authority to subdue this gratuity. I know this to be true, for I found myself, no matter how I scolded, lying in bed and wanting, needing to be one, whole with Relena. I could see the beautiful child which she would bear, and feel the gentle kisses full of her innermost desires as she set her lips upon my own or perhaps upon my callous cheek. As grotesquely real as this may seem, I could see our bodies as we writhed and made compassionate love beneath the silken sheets of her bed, she ripping her nails through my flesh, whispering my name in heated lust, and I in turn kissing her, giving her more of the pleasure and long ago romance which she so yearned for. I must shake my head of these images, for they will never become reality. She's dead... and there's nothing more that can be.

I can wait no longer to share eternity with you, my soul-mate. I have been waiting for many years, feeling the loving bond amongst our spirits before I even fled my mother's womb. I have loved you, and I always will... as we reunite once again, now, in heaven... but will you, my sacred dove of God, know me?

<Time can break you down, time can bend your knees.>
<Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please.>

A firing was heard throughout the kingdom as a trigger was pulled on a harsh, cold gun that night.

<Beyond that door there's peace I'm sure,>

Although, no one seemed to awaken from their peaceful slumber, it wasn't until only moments later that terror struck through the hearts that dwelt within this country's walls. As the wind whipped across the desolate fields of violet and sun-golden daffodils, looking as diamonds and rivers of liquid silver in the moonlight, it cried, echoing a torment of unceasing agony through the endless abyss of the night. Children sprang from their beds and hurried into the arms of their mothers, babies wailed a shout of relentless fright as the wind of painful breezes entered through their nursery windows, and dogs all over the land barked and howled to the heavens a lament of heartfelt mourning. For along that gale of hurtful plague, were the blatant screams of a young man and a his holy lover, torn apart forever as his unthinkable deed of suicide sentenced him to an eternity of loneliness and seclusion... the divine angels holding the young woman within the bound of the stars as her soul-mate was being dragged to the lower regions of hell, his screeches echoing through the netherworld...

<And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.>

AN: That was the darkest, most depressing thing I have ever written. I've felt like Heero a lot of times, so I really wanted to write it from his point of view. I really want your input on this one. Thanks for all of your wishes that I become happy soon, but I don't see an end to it anytime in the near future.