Yours and Mine

Yours and Mine by Tomorrow

AN: I must warn you to get a kleenex ready, because I cried while writing this. It's REALLY sad, but to read it will be well worth it. It's a songfic to the song "Hands" by Jewel. I LOVE that song. Please read and e-mail.

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song "Hands" by Jewel. I am not gifted enough to do that.

There they were, all of the pilots, their female spouses and or friends, including Milliardo and Lucretzia Peacecraft huddled inside that cozy hospital dorm. There wasn't much to the room; its walls were painted a drab white with a strip of rainbow wallpaper along its borders in an effort to add some cheer and color to the dreary atmosphere. This room held two patients, their separation being nothing more than a thin, flimsy blue curtain, and on each side was a small, metal nightstand that supported a lamp with a parchment covered shade. In the far left corner was the bathroom, off-white tile as its dÈcor, with an unusually large bathtub that had lengthy steel bars installed in its sides that the patient may have the chance to bathe themselves and yet not need staff assistance to help him out. In short, this particular wing of the hospital needed revamping urgently. One would have thought that the former Queen of the World, Relena Peacecraft, would have been given much more luxurious accommodations than these for her stay in a medical facility, but alas, this was the closest emergency vicinity to where the accident happened... well, actually it wasn't really an accident, more like a trauma.

Heero had received a call earlier that night from Relena, a hint of insecurity reflecting in her voice. She said that it was of the utmost importance that she speak to him, and she needed an answer to her crisis right away.

*Flashback*

Relena had just come from a council meeting, completely exhausted and her nerves singed to their bitter ends. Instead of walking through the front gates, she decided to take the long way around to the back of the house, giving her more time to herself, having to go through the corridor that passed along Milliardo's office. As she was walking by, she noticed that he had a message on his answering machine. Thinking she was doing him a favor, she thought she'd listen to the message and deliver it to him right when he got home, or call and notify him of its importance if the request had been dire. So, without much hesitation, she pushed the little button and got ready to write down the important details on a notepad. The call said:

"Zechs," Relena could already tell it was Heero because of the lack of feeling and the deep tone in his voice.* "You've gotta call me back ASAP. I can't keep leading Relena on that I have feelings for her or that I think of her as a friend. I know you said it would make it easier for me to protect her this way, but I just_can't_do it anymore. Understand Zechs. I'm getting my stuff and leaving in the morning, find someone else to do the job... like Trowa or one of the other pilots. Oh, one more thing, DON'T tell Relena about this... I don't want to have to see her bawl her eyes out as we say our good-byes. Take care of her Zechs... please, take care of her. Beep!"

As the message ended and the tone sounded, she dropped the notebook to the desk, her pencil finding its way to the floor, shattering its newly sharpened tip. For a moment, Relena sat on top of the desk in utter shock, not even blinking, not even being able to comprehend everything Heero had said, just knowing that he didn't really care for her at all, not even the least little bit. She clenched her heart in a stern grip, and her body began to shake under the desperation of the sobs, which had begun to rise in her chest. Without a word she bolted for her bedroom, and once reaching it threw herself onto her bed and cried into her pillow. She wrapped her arms around her quivering form, and pulled the blankets up over her head, making an attenuated cloak around her, protecting he from all of the heartache the world and especially the people in it had to offer her. After dehydrating herself from all of the water which her body had shed in the form of crystals that, attached with them, lamented all of her sorrow and woe, she reached for the teddy bear he had given her for her sixteenth birthday. She stared into its eyes, asking for a reason why this was happening to her, and it could only stare back at her in remorse, it's shining eyes catching the glow of the moon, causing its orbs to twinkle around the edges like its own tears for her. Across the room, a fire had resurrected itself in the fireplace, and without even a sigh of regret, she hurled the bear into the flames, watching its once soft chocolate fur become grungy and charred from the scorching-its ribbon falling loose of its neck. Needing a straight answer, she called Heero himself and asked him about the message, hoping it was all just a front he was putting on for her brother.

"Hello, Heero?" Relena asked him, her voice cracking a bit.

"Relena... have you been crying?"

"...." There was no reply for a while on Relena's end of the conversation, but after 10 minutes of sepulchral silence, she finally said, "Heero, you're my friend, aren't you? You'd protect me no matter what, right?" She held her breath waiting for his answer.

Now it was his turn to usher in the quiet. He could hear her breathing becoming quick and halting, notifying him of the tears that were beginning to build up, and he knew he had to give her a response that would pacify her for the time being until he could get out there tomorrow. "Relena... you showed me kindness and true strength, and for that I will forever be indebted to you, and therefore yes, I will even in all its secrecy protect you from the spoils of war and its results." As he finished, he could hear the receiver hitting the floor of her room and her heart-broken screams echo in the background. He had deliberately avoided answering the question, and when Relena realized that, she knew the truth. He would never love and/or care about her... ever.

Heero stayed on the line, listening to her grieve and sigh, something in his chest aching him so, that he had to sit down to relieve it. Then, after about three minutes of bustling, he heard nothing, not a sound on the other end. He didn't know what and he didn't know how, but something told him that Relena was in danger and he had to get to her before something drastic took place. Not even taking a jacket, he rushed out his door and made a sprint to Relena's estate.

Meanwhile, while Heero had been overhearing her torment, she ran down to the kitchen, grabbing a small, yet razor-sharp knife and hurried back to her room. Saying not a word she rested the blade against her breast and pushed into the tender flesh, causing her own crimson to paint her in all of its splendor. Still not satisfied, she brought the knife to her wrists and in a quick flip had opened them that blood could render her floor as well. But still, this wasn't fast enough for her, this agony was just too much, so she struck the blade straight through her heart, pushing it so deeply that she couldn't pull it out, and this whole time she didn't even make the sound of a breath. Sleepily, she brought her head that she may see the bear burning in the fireplace, and let another lone tear cleanse the blood on her face. Then, she fell to the ground, her blood making a sphere around its prior dwelling.

It was raining outside, but that didn't phase Heero one bit. He continued to run his course, only falling three time on the way, but not from the rain. The first time he slipped, he held his chest, for a shooting pain had all of a sudden inflicted him there. The second time he had to grasp his wrists, feeling like his pulse was going to burst out of his skin. And finally, for the third time he stumbled because his heart worked with such fury that he became dizzy and had to sit down for a moment to clear his head. But he did eventually make it to her house, and when he found her in her bedroom, bathed in her own fluid warmth, he took her in his arms and ran her the two blocks to the emergency room himself-many different thoughts racing through his mind.

*End of flashback*

This brings us up to the current point. Relena was placed on life-support, the doctors keep coming in and begging Milliardo to give his consent to let her go, but he would never concede. Heero had called everyone when they first took Relena into surgery, knowing he could do nothing for her now, and of course Milliardo had blamed Heero for what had happened. And in a way, Heero felt that he was right in being convicted.

All of the girls were crying in despair, leaning on their respective men and drawing support, but the boys weren't all too stable themselves that night... or ever again.

While all of the others were outwardly pouring out there hearts, Heero stood out on the balcony, impassive and unsympathetic of the radiating glimpses of death that were going on around him.

He couldn't bear seeing her like this anymore. Though the medics had cleaned her body of the blood, he could still see tinges of the scarlet staining her skin, and when he touched her he would see it covering his own hands. She was pale, no blush blessing her cheek to give her life, and her lips a purple hue, giving a sharp contrast to her once beautiful complexion. What she once was, what she could have been, all of these memories came rushing back to him, thinking about all of the lives she had once touched.

He stared up at the stars, wondering if one day he would see her up there sparkling, shining down on him, protecting him from the ruthlessness in his own heart, being his guiding star child. Would she know him when she looked down from heaven? Would she ever know the truth to his words? Would he ever get a chance to tell her his feelings, and if he did, when she was an angel, his guardian angel, would she even stop to listen? Once christened a heavenly saint, could she show him how to live again, or was he forever doomed to damnation?

He would continue to fight for peace... her dream. That's all he's ever wanted... to fulfill her dreams, and now it looks as though he was too late to make a difference for her.

How could she do this to herself, to others, to HIM? Didn't she know how loved she really was? Didn't she know her brother would miss her? She was all he had. Couldn't she see how her soul caressed so many others and gave them hopes and dreams of their own? She gave Heero his reason to live, so why couldn't he give one to her?

He couldn't keep it in any longer, he couldn't keep this raging storm within him anymore. Without warning, he fell to his knees and cried out to God, cursing Him for what He's taken away, and why He did this to him. Hadn't he suffered enough, fighting heartlessly in a meaningless war so that others wouldn't have to share his same torment? Is that not selfless enough? What did He want from him?

These shouts soon turned into wracking sobs that everyone in the room could hear, and the girls buried their heads in their man's chest, for they didn't know what to do to comfort him.

Tears flowed from his virgin eyes, for never before in his life had he cried for anyone, not even the death of his own father. But this girl... this girl touched him, touched him in his heart in a place he didn't even know had feeling anymore. And that just hurt him all the way down to his very soul, making him want to end his life with her.

As he held the railing for dear life, Milliardo slowly approached him and took him into his embrace, patting him on the back, reassuring him that she would soon be in more joy and jubilee than any of them could imagine in their fondest dreams.

As the two held each other in comfort, everyone stepped back, gawking in awe how the death of this one woman could bring the most hateful of rivals so close together, for never before had the two been on the lightest of terms with each other, even when Milliardo asked for Heero's guardianship towards Relena.

Soon after, Sally came over to them and hugged them both as well, followed by Hilde Noin, Catherine, and all of the others. Each one giving all the others a reason why Relena was so special in this world, and ways she made a difference in each of their own lives.

Heero immediately broke out of the circle, wanting none of their commiseration or eulogies. It was his fault Relena took her life, for she thought she wasn't worthy to walk on the same earth with people as heroic as he. Is it really that heroic to drive someone to their demise?

"Relena... I love you, and I'm sorry for your pain. I know what it means now when people mourn one they have loved and lost... it's like dying yourself."

<God's hands>
<God's heart>
<We are God's eyes>
<God's hands>

As Heero stood there in utter misery, Relena's heart rate began to drop, and she was gone from this life. As she looked upon Heero as she blossomed her wings, she asked God to give her the privilege to guard him and lead him back aright. She knew what she had meant to him and will always mean... she had listened.

<God's eyes>
<We are God's hands>
<God's hands>

AN: Oh gosh, give me a minute to get a tissue. I can't believe I wrote that. It was sooo sad. Please tell me if you liked it... and please realize that the scene between Milliardo and Heero was NOT meant as a yaoi scene, they were comforting each other because they were both losing the most important person in their lives. Thank you everyone. Bye *sniff*